jIf you have a sister, chances are you’re good with people. I say this because you’ve dealt with her you’re entire life, so you know you can deal with anyone. I say that with love. But seriously, if you have a sister, consider yourself lucky. You have a lifelong friend; someone who will always be down to chill, sing with you in the car and give you unbiased, unfiltered advice. Because they know there’s nothing you can do if you don’t like it. Even though you annoy me eight days of the week, here are 15 promises I will always keep to you:
1. Be your camera man
Even though it takes you 46 tries to get that perfect angle and I think each one looks the same, I got you fam.
2. Have your back
"Hey did your sister eat all the cookies?" "Nah dude I totally saw the dog up on the counter getting in them, I tried to stop him but he just scarfed them down before I had a chance it was crazy."
3. Be down to get drinks
I mean I only have like four friends, so chances are I'm about it. You're paying though right?
4. Coerce mom and dad to give us money
"I'll tell mom how pretty she is, you hit dad with the puppy dog eyes and we're golden."
5. Be a phone call away
Work sucked? Relationship problems? Closet door off the hinges for the third time this week? Hit me up, dude.
6. Pick you up when you've been drinking
Oh, it's 2 AM and you're across town? Well, I think I um... gotta umm... oh you're paying me? I'll be there in 20.
7. Sing with you
In the car, on the boat, concerts, parties, the dinner table. Put on 'Something to be Proud of', we'll kill every note. We're practically Jay-Z and Beyoncé
, can you blame us?8. Wreck you in Mario Kart
I love you but you're crazy if you think you have a chance. You better hoard those blue turtle shells cause you're gonna need them.
9. Let you cook me dinner
Oh, your roommates are gone and you don't know what to eat? I have an idea.
10. Embarrass You
I'm your little bro, it's basically my job. I know you're not stupid, but that's not what my shirt says.
11. Be your partner in crime
Oh, we're next on the table? Yea they don't want this.
12. I'll be there before the boyfriend, during the boyfriend, and after the boyfriend
I didn't like him, I still don't like him, I definitely don't like him. Anyone remember where I put my baseball bat?
13. Talk smack about people
That lady that came in today acting like she owned the place? Her hair? Wack. The way she demanded everything? Wack. The way her makeup looked like it was done by a five-year-old with crayons? Wack. She don't even go here.
14. Be the favorite child
You didn't think I wasn't going to put this in here, did you?
15. Love you
I may have gotten stuck with you, but I guess it wasn't so bad. Actually, I'm glad I got someone as dope as you to kick it with. I always got your back, don't forget that. Love ya kiddo.
