As one myself, I can attest to the fact that writers are wonderful, creative people that you should definitely have in your life. However, we're not always the easiest people to be in relationships with. Next time you go to the launch of a campus journal and find yourself fancying one of the readers, be sure to look over this list and see if you're reading to make the commitment.
1. Be prepared to be written about.
Writers use a lot of what happens in their lives as inspiration for their work. You take the risk of being in some of this work by entering into the personal sphere of such a creative human being.
2. We keep odd hours.
Most writers find that they are most productive early in the morning or late at night. You're rarely going to find someone who is reaching their optimum potential when normal people are awake and working.
3. When we're working on a new project, appearance can be compromised.
If pajamas, unwashed hair, and the smell of coffee of someone's breath gets your motor running, then a writer might be your ideal mate. This is definitely the state we will remain in when inspiration strikes.
4. Playlists are very important.
Music plays a strong role in the creative process, and many writers create them to listen to when they're writing. These are as integral as the writing itself.
5. Our brains never turn off.
Doesn't matter if we're in a class, having lunch with a friend, or trying to sleep. Our characters, rhyme schemes, and narratives are always moving around in our minds.
6. We're very particular about pens, paper, fonts, etc.
Do not steal a writer's pen. Do not question the notebooks they use or the color of ink. Most importantly, do not debate over a document font. Writers tend to stand by these decisions religiously.
7. Hand massages are the best cure for hand cramps.
Hours at a computer cause for a lot of uncomfortable feelings in our wrists and hands. There's nothing sweeter than someone willing to help soothe these.
8. We take reading suggestions very seriously.
We know that you love Harry Potter or that Nancy Drew changed your life, and I appreciate that, but unless we're interested in writing about wizards and teenage spies, you telling us that we must read them is a little silly.
9. Please don't try to talk to us when there's a deadline at hand.
Writers have a hard enough time focusing as it is. When you know that we're already pushing our deadline to its limit, it's probably not the best time to ask if we'd like some fro-yo (even if we would).
10. We each have our own favorite writers - and will defend them to the death.
Jane Austen, Martin Amis, and Mary Gaitskill are the best fictionists in the world. Your opinion in invalid, or at least not worth arguing with in terms of someone who is dedicating their life to the craft.
11. We're not at our best when we're blocked.
If we aren't sure where to take a story or are lost on the direction of a poem, we are sure to be crabby. We apologize in advance because it definitely has nothing to do with you.
12. Book readings are like our concerts.
David Sedaris is coming to town and giving a reading of his latest essay collection = Adele tickets going on sale for Madison Square Garden. Professional writers are equal celebrities to us worth freaking out over.
13. Don't read our work unless you can be honest with us.
It's lovely to be told we're great at what we do, but it's not very helpful. We're not setting you up: if we ask for feedback, just be truthful with us.
14. Support our crazy dreams.
Print is dead, everyone thinks they can write a novel, and even if you are published, it isn't lucrative. But please accept us for loving something painful anyway!
15. We're some of the best people ever.
If you can deal with the fact that we're difficult, a little nutty, and probably covered in pen ink, then we'll also be some of the greatest partners you'll ever have!
