My entire life, I have lived in a suburb outside of Cleveland, Ohio, and now I'm going to school in the city as well, so it is safe to say that I know Cleveland pretty well. There are a few things that we all know to be true, a part of some sort of secret societies known as Clevelanders.
1. We know what the REAL four seasons are
Ah yes, the four seasons: winter, oh my God it's still winter, potholes, and construction.
2. It may have been a few years ago...
BUT THE WARRIORS BLEW A 3-1 LEAD IN THE NBA CHAMPIONSHIPS
3. We know the Browns suck, but only we are allowed to say it
Two Clevelanders talking about the Browns will deeply express our disappointment in the team; however, anyone but a Clevelander starts talking shit? Get out.
4. The Indians are the team we all rely on
Two trips to the finals in the last two years? I mean, they may have lost, but we are always ready for an Indian summer!
5. We all know how to drive, it's the other people that don't know how to drive
Ask anyone around here and they'll tell you that they are the best driver the world has ever seen, even though every time they drive, their passengers are begging to the higher powers that they make it to the destination alive.
6. Lake effect snow = literal Hell
When I fell asleep, no snow was even forecasted, yet I woke up to 6 inches and a sheet of ice on my windshield.
7. You can never trust the 5-day weather report
Oh, it's going to be 36 and sunny on Friday? How much you want to bet that it will actually be 57 and raining?
8. You can never trust the weather report, period
I have used AC and heat in the same day, woke up in a tank top and shorts and at the end of the day, I'm in a parka. Weather comes and goes so quickly in this city that you have to prepare for everything.
9. Cleveland is literally a giant wind tunnel
Between the lake, all of the skyscrapers, and our ever-changing weather, this city is nothing but a wind tunnel. There have been times when I was walking to or from class and there was wind blowing on me for 3 minutes straight. It's always windy here. Chicago is just an imposter. We are the real windy city.
10. We have amazing taste in music
The birthplace of rock & roll, home to the Rock & Roll Hall Of Fame, you can thank us for Machine Gun Kelly, and a common center for alternative music. All around, we have a great taste in music. It is the perfect blend of rock, metal, alternative, rap, R&B, pop, country (even though I hate it), and many others.
Did I mention that we have the Cleveland Orchestra here? Like... one of the best orchestras in the country... yeah. I know. We're awesome.
11. Our undying support of our teams is something that ties us together
Cavs, Browns, Indians, Monsters, Gladiators, and on and on, we take pride in our teams. We have seen season after season of disappointment, but we still scream our heads off anyway.
12. We work our butts off
One of the most prominent traits of a Clevelander is our attitude. We know that if we want things, we will work hard every day until we achieve our goal. We know that hard work gets us where we want to be, and so we work and earn what we have. You are given nothing in Cleveland. You work for everything in Cleveland.
13. We do not have an accent
We definitely don't. It's everyone else that has one. We talk very normally.
14. We never mention the state up North
We have beat them into the ground so many times that their name isn't even worth mentioning. It's practically a curse to mutter that despicable name. We are all Buckeyes.
15. BARRIO, BARRIO, BARRIO
Barrio is this place here in Cleveland off East 4th and Prospect that has the best tacos, queso, and guac you have ever tasted in your life. Not to mention, kick-ass margaritas and other mixed drinks. Open until 2 a.m. means that there have been many trips made late at night for some Stoner Queso.
16. At least we're not Detroit! Have a beer, it's not that bad!
Enough said.
