There are a lot of things I know now that I wish I could’ve known when I was younger. Things that have caused me to fall deeper into myself and who I am and who I am meant to be in the future. Things that would’ve helped 13-year-old me feel less alone and more comfortable in the confines of her body and mind. Things that would’ve freed up a lot of time that I instead used to worry about things that don’t matter now, and didn’t even really matter then. There are a lot of things I know now that have changed my life, despite how small and meticulous they may seem. Especially because of how small and meticulous they may seem.
1. Take more selfies.
Because you look good. Because even if you don’t look good, it’s okay to appreciate yourself. You are still photo-worthy even when you haven’t washed your hair and your eyes are swollen from stress crying and your skin is covered in blemishes. It might not be a selfie to post on Instagram, but it is still a selfie to take.
2. Ask for what you want.
If you want someone to pay attention to you, tell them. If you want another piece of cake, go get it. There are very few things that you will get in your life without asking for them. Stop wasting time, just ask.
3. Write.
Write everything down as often as you possibly can. Get in the habit of writing about the things that you love and the things that you hate and all your dreams and goals and everything. Reading your past writing is the absolute best way to see where and who you have been, and compare it to where you are now.
4. Buy cute underwear even when no one will see it.
Actually, especially when no one will see it. You will fall in love with the beautifully ironic feeling of wearing lacy underwear under an oversized men’s t-shirt. You will feel good about having that secret to yourself as you go through the day.
5. Hug your mom when you get home from school.
There are a lot of days in college that you’ll get home from class and you’ll think about when you used to walk into your house and smell chocolate chip cookies that your mom made, and you’ll miss her hugs. Your dorm room smells like Ramen Noodles and Clorox wipes, and your mom isn’t there to hug you. Take advantage of the hugs.
6. Double text.
Triple text. Hell, send 17 texts if you have to. Don't feel bad about wanting to get someone's attention when they aren't responding. Don’t feel bad about not being able to put all your thoughts into one text message. That is a stupid rule. Do not listen to it.
7. Do not be afraid of being alone.
In a few years, you will relish the time you have alone. You will look forward to going to museums and movies alone, you will love it with your whole heart. Be comfortable being on your own; you are enough company.
8. Being anxious does not make you weak.
This is the same with sadness, anger, fear. These are human emotions. It is okay to not always feel like smiling.
9. Let your passions consume you.
Do not be embarrassed by the things you adore, and do not let anyone tell you that those things are strange, or that they are unworthy of your love and attention. Eventually, you will meet people who love the same off-beat things you do.
10. School comes first.
(Technically, I did get this advice when I was younger. Sorry for being a bad listener, mom and dad.) Do not put people or events in front of your future. Friday night football games are fun, but so is going to college. Get your shit together.
11. Make the first move.
Boys are clueless. You’re wasting time waiting for them to gain the courage to talk to you. In the future, you will be the one to ask a lot of guys on dates. You might as well start now.
12. Your sadness is not beautiful.
Stop letting the internet tell you that. Stop thinking that being broken is an interesting character trait. A broken person is a tragedy, and you will feel that enough naturally. You should not be pushing yourself to be sad.
13. Do not be around people that treat you less than the way you deserve to be treated.
It is better to be alone than to be with people who do not recognize your worth. The moment someone begins to take advantage of you or treat you like you are inferior is the moment they deserve to be dropped.
14. Wear red lipstick.
Multiple times a week. Whether it be a dark, lusty, she-devil red or a fun, bright cherry red. You will feel better. You will feel invincible and poisonous and like the type of woman you’ve always looked up to. One day, you will be that woman, but you and I are both still working on getting there.
