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14 Things Every Jewish Person Says Around Christmas Time

If only there were more Hanukkah-themed things in the world...

Ally Meyerowitz

Nov 28, 2016

San Diego State University

107

14 Things Every Jewish Person Says Around Christmas Time

Robert Couse-Baker

It's no surprise that around the holidays, Jews are left with a very limited selection of Hanukkah-themed gifts, decorations, and, well, practically everything no matter how hard the world tries to be "all-inclusive." In reality, the holidays just result in Christmas-themed everything, while Jews are left shopping in a little corner of the store that only has one shelf that might have something worth using as a gift. If you're Jewish, you totally understand all of these struggles around Christmas time.

1. Why are there no Hanukkah-themed Starbucks cups?!

2. Instead of Christmas trees, why don't they sell Hanukkah bushes?

3. People really need to stop asking me if I get upset on Christmas because I don't get presents.

4. And asking me what my favorite Christmas movie is. (P.S., it's either "Elf" or "Polar Express.")

5. I wonder if Hanukkah Harry feels offended during this time of year.

6. What the hell am I supposed to wear to this ugly Christmas sweater party?

7. Why is it that the only song made about Hanukkah is Adam Sandler's "8 Crazy Nights?"

8. I wonder if anyone has ever played a drunken holiday game of spin the dreidel...

9. Is it acceptable to bring potato latkes to this Christmas party?

10. Why do people keep on asking me if I've ever celebrated Christmas before?

11. Why are there never any movies made about Hanukkah during Christmas?

12. How come there are a million different spellings of Hanukkah, but only one way to spell Christmas?

13. I wonder if my mother would be upset with me if I bought these Christmas decorations to hang around my apartment...

14. I don't know how many more times I can explain to people who celebrate Christmas why there are nine candles instead of eight on the menorah.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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If only there were more Hanukkah-themed things in the world...

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The Best Lines from the Fab Four

And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make

The sun is up, the sky is blue, it's beautiful and so are you

Love is old, love is new, love is all, love is you

There's nowhere you can be that isn't where you're meant to be

Life is very short, and there's no time for fussing and fighting, my friend

He say, "I know you, you know me", One thing I can tell you is you got to be free

Oh please, say to me, You'll let me be your man. And please say to me, You'll let me hold your hand

It was twenty years ago today, Sgt. Pepper taught the band to play. They've been going in and out of style, but they're guaranteed to raise a smile

Living is easy with eyes closed, misunderstanding all you see

Can you hear me? When it rains and shine, it's just a state of mind

Little darling, it's been long cold lonely winter. Little darling, it feels like years since it' s been here. Here comes the sun, Here comes the sun, and I say it's alright

We danced through the night and we held each other tight, and before too long I fell in love with her. Now, I'll never dance with another when I saw her standing there

I love you, I love you, I love you, that's all I want to say

You say you want a revolution. Well you know, we all want to change the world

All the lonely people, where do they all come from. All the lonely people, where do they all belong

Oh, I get by with a little help from my friends

Hey Jude, don't make it bad. Take a sad song and make it better

Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away. Now it looks as though they're here to stay. Oh, I believe in yesterday

And when the brokenhearted people, living in the world agree, there will be an answer, let it be.

And anytime you feel the pain, Hey Jude, refrain. Don't carry the world upon your shoulders

I'll give you all I got to give if you say you'll love me too. I may not have a lot to give but what I got I'll give to you. I don't care too much for money. Money can't buy me love

All you need is love, love is all you need

Whisper words of wisdom, let it be

Blackbird singing in the dead of night, Take these broken wings and learn to fly. All your life, You were only waiting for this moment to arise

Though I know I'll never lose affection, for people and things that went before. I know I'll often stop and think about them. In my life, I love you more

Obviously the best superpower.

There have been many lessons learned.

1. The importance of traditions.

2. How to be thankful for family and friends.

3. How to give back.

4. What the word "community" really means.

5. That it isn't about the destination, but the journey.

6. The consequences of making bad choices.

7. To trust people, until you have a reason not to.

8. To be welcoming and accepting of everyone.

9. How to be my own, individual person.

10. How to work for what I want.

11. How to be great at giving directions.

12. How to be humble.

13. To be well-rounded.

14. How to be great at conflict resolution.

15. The beauty of getting outside and exploring.

16. To be prepared for anything.

17. That you don't always have to do it alone.

18. How to be creative.

19. To brush off gossip.

I have never been so thankful to know you.

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

Don't freak out

Email the professor

Attend the first class

Keep attending class

Have a backup plan

Remember that everything works out at the end

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