1. You think every Taylor Swift song was written specifically for you and that she just gets you.
How sad. Get in line.
2. You're bitter af.
You're like Serena throughout the entire Gossip Girl series. She was never happy about anything.
3. You live in a constant state of fear/excitement of seeing him anywhere.
You've probably worked yourself into an asthma attack a few times because your body is so confused by conflicting emotions.
4. When you see the make or model of his car you shit yourself.
And by doing so almost crash your own car.
5. You've driven literally all of your friends away because you're so annoying.
No one wants to hang out with the girl who won't LET IT GO.
6. Whenever you mention a new boy your friends get a little too excited because they think you're moving on, but little do they know you're just using him for revenge.
And you actually think this plan will work.
7. You run away when you see him.
Like I'm talking sprint. You don't mess around.
8. You go out of your way to hide from him in public places.
Even pulling out a disguise if necessary.
9. You stalk any girl he's ever talked to, including his mom.
You would hurt them if you got the chance.
10. When he texts you you fall to the floor.
Literally. Like the Life Alert Woman.
11. You talk to yourself about him in public places. 
You seriously think your life is such a joke you forget that other people can hear you.
12. You want him to be viciously thrown off a cliff.
By you, of course.
13. You talk to your dog about him.
And even they are annoyed by you.
14. You're probably reading this at your therapist's office right now.
But we still love you.
Closing Advice:
This guy is 100% unhealthy for you, just like this article is 100% satirical.
:)
