If you enjoy the night life, college is full of nights spent downtown. There’s nothing quite like going out with your friends, dancing, and having a good time. Half the fun is getting to witness all the crazy things people say and do while slightly under the influence. Whether you’re at a bar, club, or high quality frat party (lol) you’re likely to run into the same types of people. The list goes as follows:
1. Mr. Elevator Eyes
You literally just stepped into the place, and there he is: Mr. Elevator Eyes. He couldn’t be any more obvious. The least he could do is be discreet, but apparently he doesn't know how.
2. The Girl Who Has Had 10 Drinks Too Many
Poor thing is falling all over herself and has no idea who she is or what is going on. She is likely to spill her drink on you and tell you you’re pretty 10 times. She is annoying, but she keeps complimenting you so you kinda want to be her friend.
3. The Mother Hen
Always seen with The Girl Who Has Had 10 Drinks Too Many. She has taken it upon herself to take care of her friends, make sure they don’t die, get arrested, wander off, break anything, or go home with the weird guy.
4. The Ultimate Jerk
His shirt is 3 sizes too small because he is trying to make his arms look bigger than they really are. He is a gym rat, but skips leg day everyday and has the chicken legs to prove it. His ego barely fits in the room and his cool party trick is crushing his beer cans with one hand.
5. Sober Sally The DD
She is either A) absolutely miserable or B) having a great time taking snapchat videos of her friends’ crazy drunken antics. Either way, Sober Sally is the Real MVP for taking one for the team by being the DD. YGG!
6. Mr. Kappa Alpha Delta Sig Ep
You know…The Frat Guy. He lives and breathes whatever stupid frat he happens to be a part of. He is wearing khaki shorts that are too short, white Nike mid-calves, New Balances (why are these even a thing?), and a polo shirt. He is under the impression that he is God’s gift to man; his failure to attend class and 1.7 GPA say otherwise...
7. Girls In The Bathroom
Girls in the the bathroom, while under the influence, are the nicest people you will ever meet. It’s always so fun to chat it up while fixing your hair in the mirror. Chances are you’ll never see or talk to those girls in the bathroom again, but for those 5 minutes, y’all were besties for the resties, and you even have the selfies to prove it.
8. The Girl Fighting With Her Boyfriend
Usually seen off in a corner somewhere, yelling at her boyfriend over the phone or in person. Face-to-face arguments include the boyfriend looking extremely uninterested in the conversation. Chances are they should probably break up, but don’t tell her that.
9. The Pong Partners
Tends to be two dudes, who are “running the table.” They only interact with each other and do not under any circumstances leave the game for any reason. Pong is life.
10. The Crier
There is always a girl who is crying. Usually in the bathroom and always over a boy. Very dramatic and unnecessary.
11. The Bros
The bromance is real. A group of bros who show up together, leave together, and are super close…questionably so. One of them is bound to pick a fight or two. The sausage fest will be seen partaking in many keg-stands and high-fives. Don’t get too close, and just try to ignore all the testosterone in the air.
12. The Pledges
Poor guys don't get to actually go the party because they have to drive people home all night. May sound easy enough, but drunk people tend to not give the best directions, or have any idea what is going on for that matter. Plus, the pledges’ numbers get passed around to randos, which is a recipe for disaster. Basically, their lives suck.
13. The Creepy Old Guy
The dude is at least twice as old as everyone else who is there. But there he is, checking out every girl who walks by. And if he’s really extra creepy, he will even send girls drinks. Yeah thanks, but bye.
14. The Uber Drivers
And when your night comes to an end, The Uber Drivers are there to save your butt. They are friendly, have endless amounts of patience, considering their job is dealing with intoxicated people, and they know where everything is. Plus, they have no problem handing over the aux cord to you and your friends. Drunken renditions of Beyoncé are the best, right?
So enjoy your nights out on the town, have fun, be responsible, and remember, snapchat videos are forever.
