When I was six years old, I was diagnosed with a learning disability. I was diagnosed with Nonverbal Learning Disability (NLD). This disability comes with benefits and drawbacks. I think in words, not in pictures. The name itself is a misnomer, as I’m very verbal and can write, speak, and spell very well. However, I’m not the best at math, science, graphing, and anything spatial. I am also impacted physically. Some people with my learning disability don’t drive. I can drive, and my insurance company thinks so, too. I look at NLD as having that one annoying relative that means well but won’t leave you alone. She makes a mean pot roast, but she won’t stop pinching your cheeks. Since my learning disability will always be a part of me, I might as well embrace it.
1. I will always get lost.
I am as directionally challenged as they come, and Google Maps is a lifesaver. The day I find a place without Google Maps is a good day.
2. I will always be clumsy.
You name it, I’ve probably walked into it.
3. Verbal cues will not be as visible to me as they are to other people.
I’ve gotten a lot better and faster at picking them up. However, it’s still something I need to work on.
4. I will never know how many people are at a party.
I will never be able to give you an estimate. I will always try to count them when I am there so I can give a somewhat believable answer.
5. My teachers sometimes won’t understand.
I am going to preface my explanation with the fact that I have had wonderful teachers up into my present-day college years. I had phenomenal teachers before I stopped special education services in third grade. I have been accused of not listening/not paying attention when I stated that I didn't understand something. I also got yelled at by a substitute teacher when I was in second grade for not knowing how to use a ruler in a remedial measurement class. These were the moments in school where I wondered what was wrong with me and why I deserved this. I did not learn that I had a learning disability until I was 10, so when the sub yelled at me, I felt so much shame and wanted nothing but my mom to come pick me up. My elementary school had a goal of making every kid a learner. That is not what I felt like that day.
6. My friends sometimes don’t understand.
I have been blessed with wonderful friends. They have been very supportive of me. Well, there was one “friend” that made fun of me all the time for not being able to drive. I got my license later than everyone because it took me a bit longer for me to be comfortable on the road. She shamed me for this, even when I asked her to stop. Other than that, everyone has been really nice.
7. I sometimes miss occupational therapy.
I’d go have fun with this nice lady, practice my handwriting, jump on a trampoline, and play tetherball.
8. I am so lucky to have been able to learn an instrument.
I learned the viola in sixth grade, and it opened so many doors for me. It unlocked that left hemisphere of my brain, and I won the sixth-grade math award that year. Even though I have not touched my viola in over a year, I love classical music, especially strings and what they have done for me.
9. It’s not going to go away.
Like I stated before, my learning disability isn’t going to go away. It’s still with me even though I overcame a lot of it. It wasn’t until my late teens that I learned to embrace it.
10. I’m very smart.
I have kept my HOPE scholarship, graduated high school with a 3.8, have always been above the standard reading level, passed two AP exams, have been told I am a good writer and so many things. I’m not trying to brag, but people with learning disabilities can thrive intellectually.
11. I effortlessly memorize some things, and it’s pretty freaking cool.
I got A’s every time I took Spanish. I memorized the course names and abbreviations for all my classes. It also got me out of APUSH alive.
12. I wouldn’t have the interest I have now in special education if it wasn’t for my learning disability.
I want to pay it forward. I want to invest in my future students like my teachers invested in me. I want to write those Individualized Education Plans with as much detail as those teachers had for me.
13. I would not understand people with high functioning Autism as much as I do.
Since some of the parts of my learning disability mirror high functioning Autism, such as missing nonverbal cues and body language, I understand my campers better. Some of my kiddos have high functioning Autism, and knowing firsthand what they’re going through has served me so well.
14. I have a purpose.
That purpose is to pay it forward, teach special education and be a light in the world. God gave me a gift. I need to use it to the best of my ability. God works in mysterious ways, and I thank him every single day.
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