The divorce rate in America is around 50%, and large amounts of these couples have children. Divorce can cause serious problems for children academically, behaviorally, mentally, and emotionally. Growing up with divorced parents, I have come to realize that I act differently in my relationships than my friends whose parents are still married. Children of divorce display many characteristics in their dating lives that other people do not exhibit. Being from a broken home causes people to see the world more realistically while also keeping their childhood hopes about true love. Many of us are realists, but deep down we are just romantics who are afraid to show that side because we have seen the pain it can cause. It takes us much more courage to display our emotions and show that we care for someone. We saw our parents fight and eventually give up on each other. We saw people saying that they would love each other forever end up hating each other. This scares us because we do not want the same thing to happen to our relationships. Divorce causes intense feelings of abandonment, and this is a huge factor in our actions in relationships.
1. Avoiding Relationships All Together
Many of us are so afraid of feeling abandoned by someone we love again that we will avoid love at all costs. We do not want to get hurt and find ourselves alone. It’s much safer for us to be alone than open ourselves up to love.
2. Never Getting Serious
If we decide to date someone, we make sure to secure our walls. We just want to date around and find someone to have fun with. We do not really date to marry.
3. Seeing Red Flags
Even during the first date we will find imperfections and problems. We will look for every possible reason to not get serious, to not get feelings, and to not stay with you for long.
4. Running When Feelings Get Too Real
If we feel like we are falling for you, it will scare us to death. We will run. We will use any excuse we can to end things with you because we are not ready to be serious. We can't risk getting hurt.
5. Not Letting Anyone In
If we don't plan on getting serious with you, then there's no reason for us to let you in. We will avoid deep conversations at all costs. We would rather talk about what is happening in the present than drudge up our dark past.
6. Never Fully Trusting Our Partners
If our parents can tell each other they love each other until death do them part, then end it a few years into the marriage why would we trust you telling us you love us? We grew up surrounded by lies and empty promises. That's bound to leave some serious trust issues that'll come up later in life.
7. Giving Up When Things Get Hard
One little disagreement will give us every reason we need to end things. If we can't have a fairytale love with you, then we don't want to be with you. We need to be able to see a future with you if we plan on staying with you. If we fight at the beginning of the relationship, we will try our best to end it before we have feelings for you.
Read more about why I still believe in fairytales here: https://www.theodysseyonline.com/still-believe-in-...
8. Falling Too Hard, Too Fast
If you manage to break down our walls, and stick with us through the ruff beginning we will fall for you hard and fast. We will find ourselves completely in love with you. We fall way faster than normal people do, and we fall completely in love.
9. Holding On To Everything
We are very sentimental, and we will want to keep everything you give us. Every love note, flower, movie ticket, and everything else. We don't just hold onto physical items though, we also treasure every memory with you. That means we also hold onto all of the bad memories, but if we love you the good ones will be more important.
10. Reading Into Every Action, Conversation, and Word
We are so scared of our feelings for you, we constantly are looking for signs you feel the same. Every facial expression you make when you look at us, every time you hold our hand, and every sweet gesture you make helps us feel safer. We also read into every conversation we have with you. You may say something that you never would have thought would upset us, but it will leave us in tears. If we let go of your hand, and you don't reach for it again we will read into that action and worry you don't feel the same way about us. It's a slippery slope we live on.
11. If We Love, We Never Give Up
If we manage to fall in love with you, we will never give up on you. No matter how many fights we have or actions that worry us, we will try to be our best selves for you. We will do everything in our power to be perfect and deserve your love.
12. We Want To Take Care Of You
We didn't really have a lot of affection growing up, so we love being able to pour all of that bottled up affection onto you. We are used to taking care of ourselves, and we want to take care of you as well. We always want to see you happy. If there is anything we can do to make you happy or make your life better we will do it.
13. We Secretly Love Being Taken Care Of
We hate showing our emotions, but we actually do want you to see them. If we are upset, we want you to hold us. We love being taken care of for once. We love not having to be the strong one all the time.
