Moving out of your home state for college is always a learning experience. But, none can understand the struggle as well as those from Massachusetts. From dealing with generalizations to misconstrued stereotypes, to plain bad taste and a serious lack of fortitude, being a masshole in a new place is full of unanticipated lessons. Below are just a few of the unexpected things that I learned when I left Massachusetts for college.
I am, apparently, from Boston.
People will actually completely ignore you, or even correct you, if you try to explain that not all of Massachusetts is Boston.
Speed limits are a thing.
You can get pulled over for going 5-10 mph over the speed limit? Why.
There are people who don’t like the Patriots/Celtics/Red Sox/Bruins.
I don’t even follow sports, but I love Boston sports teams. They are the best, and it’s not up for discussion.
There are people who think (iced) Dunkin is anything but amazing
Why would you pay an ungodly amount to get coffee that is no better than Dunks? And please stop asking why we’re getting iced coffee in the winter. It’s better and worth it and drinking cold things won’t kill you.
50 degrees is cold to some people.
Today I wore shorts in 50 degree weather. It was also raining. I lived to tell the tale. You, in your knee length parka, will too.
There is such a thing as red clam chowder and it is terrible and offensive.
But even worse is when out-of-staters try to make New England Clam chowder and it comes out as a mix between potato leek soup and weird fish water and has CARROTS in it?
Others think that we use “wicked” like the British do.
Stop asking me if things are “wicked.” Was that movie “wicked”? No. Are you wicked annoying? Yes.
Republicans exist.
Where have they been hiding? And some of them are even nice???
Some people don’t know which state Massachusetts even is.
It’s literally the most distinctly shaped state in the country. You can’t expect us to memorize all your squares if you can’t even figure out the difference between Mass and Rhode Island.
Everyone needs a quick lesson in silent letters.
Do you pronounce the “k” in knife? No. So why on earth would you pronounce the…middle few letters…of Worcester? Come on.
Snow is scary to some people.
No, classes will not be canceled, yes winter boots do keep your feet dry, yes we have plows, no life does not halt for three to four months out of the year just because the ground is white and cold.
People get excited over their supposed knowledge of our state.
No one calls it Beantown. We rarely find a spot to "pahk" our "cahs" in Hahvahd "yahd" and we don’t all talk like that either. We don’t spend all our time in pubs getting rowdy over sports. Just most of our time.
There are people who are not fiercely loyal to their state.
Being from Massachusetts is an honor. Honestly, who knows how many of us will even end up staying there? But once a masshole, always a masshole, and what we do know is that Massachusetts will always have our hearts.
