English Majors get a bad rep for reasons I don’t understand. Maybe it’s because the major is so broad that no one really understands it? We’re just angsty and misunderstood teenagers. But not actually, we’re mostly just nerds who like to read and write and learn about all kinds of stuff. While some of these might apply to non-English majors, I would have to ask what you think you’re doing with your life if they all apply to you and you’re not an English major.
1. You could retire at the age of 30 if you had a dollar for every time someone assumed you were going to be a teacher or an author.
While many English majors do pursue teaching or end up writing novels,
these are far from the only career paths a degree in English prepares us
for. Take for example an editor working in the publishing industry, a
government employee writing speeches and press releases for officials,
or a journalist reporting on current events. These are only some of the
most common. English majors work at nearly every company known to man
because they all require skilled writers, communicators, and critical
thinkers.
2. You can spend hours in a library or bookstore just browsing.
I have literally been late to meeting up with friends because I
leisurely strolled through every aisle in my local library. And God
knows I can’t leave a bookstore without buying something. It’s a curse
as much as it is a blessing.
3. You’re always editing essays for friends.
And most of the time, you don’t even mind. Though sometimes you feel the
need to completely overhaul a paragraph of their essay and you might
feel a little bad about it, but you’re really only trying to help.
4. Everyone thinks your classes are easy.
News flash: they’re not. I have had to explain to people more times than
I can count that I do more than “just read books.” For example: I study
critical theory to enrich my analysis and critical thinking; I debate
and discuss ideas; I write, organize, and relentlessly revise essays; I
creatively brainstorm to come up with original angles for analysis and
new ways to say things that have been said before. Not to mention
researching many other disciplines like history, philosophy, psychology,
sociology, and whatever else is needed to inform my thinking.
5. It makes you sad when you hear people say they don’t like to read.
Because you know that it’s not that they don’t like it, it’s because
they haven’t found a book or genre that is right for them. It takes some
exploring to find what suits you, but it’s incomprehensible to not
enjoy the adventure and exploration that is possible through the inked
pages of a book.
6. Everyone assumes you’ve read all of the classics.
"Tale of Two Cities." "To Kill a Mockingbird." "Pride and Prejudice." "Moby
Dick." "Jane Eyre." And, of course, the entire works of Shakespeare. While most of us have
probably read more of the classics than the average non-English major
has, I haven’t met a single college student, let alone an English major,
who has a fraction of the amount of free time it would require to read
and comprehend all of them. Plus, just because we like to read doesn’t
mean we like to read everything; we have our preferred genres and
authors like everyone else.
7. You write for fun.
Whether you do it in the form of a chapter a day of a 1,200-page science
fiction novel that will become your life’s work, a small personal
journal filled with crappy haikus, or an online pop culture blog, you
write because you enjoy it.
8. Your bookshelf is overflowing and your list of books to read is a mile long.
You always ask for books for your birthday and Christmas, and any other gift-giving occasion, but you get distracted by other books you find browsing or that someone recommended to you so you are never left without anything to read. Again, it’s both a blessing and a curse
9. You have to read the book before you see the movie.
And you’ll always be inevitably disappointed by the movie because it
left out your favorite scene or the main character was blonde instead of
brunette. The book is just always better because you get to imagine it
exactly how you want.
10. You earmark, highlight, or write down lines in books that you wish you had written.
While I’m not one for damaging the book in any way, I have a journal
filled with brilliant quotes and lines of beautiful prose. Sometimes a
line or even a paragraph is so good that you find yourself rereading it
ten times before you continue reading.
11. You correct everyone’s grammar.
Whether you make their mistakes known or silently correct them in your
head, it’s involuntary. And in this age of social media and texting,
you’re constantly overwhelmed by the number of people in your life who
don’t know the difference between “there,” “their,” and “they’re.”
12. You can’t turn your analytical mind off.
You just saw a horror movie that scared the sh*t out of you and your friends
are laughing about how all of you were cuddled up in the back of the
theater screaming like little girls, but all you can think about is how
much more effective and thought-provoking the movie would have been if
it had ended two minutes short of the typical Hollywood blockbuster
ending.
13. Your favorite book is the thesaurus.
