A recent article

published by Elite Daily explained that people who are chronically late often are optimistic and happy. Although the world may see constant lateness as a rude practice, those who are often late can attest that they do not do this on purpose. Here are the 13 steps to perpetual lateness, we promise we don’t mean to do it:

Step #1: The Plan

Your event is in t minus 5 hours, you’ve got this. At three o’clock you will take a shower, and use the remaining hour and a half (leaving in time for travel) to get ready. This is an ample amount of time to accomplish all that needs to be done, so don’t mess this one up.

Step #2: Slight Procrastinating

Three rolls around and here you are, clicking “Next Episode” for the fourteenth time today. It’s okay, though, you can spare twenty-one minutes to see what happens in your favorite show. Granted, you’ve watched this season about five times before, but each episode is important. Even so, if you rearrange the time allotted for the shower and hair preparation, you will make it on time.

Step #3:Rationalizing

Anything can seem justified if you try hard enough. You deserved that long shower, and how else will your skin glow if you don’t take the time to apply a face mask? Now, you’ve got to make it up by speeding through the rest of your “Get Ready” list, but you will NOT be late.

Step #4:Over-Estimating Time

When you really think about it, sixty seconds is a long time. So, you’ll shave your legs in three minutes, brush your teeth in one and finish blow drying your hair in six. Yes, some may call this unrealistic, but they don’t know how quickly you can work.

Step #5: The ‘Quick Nap’

All this getting ready took a lot out of you. Set an alarm for 5 minutes and rest your eyes………. until twenty-five minutes has passed. Now you may be in trouble.

Step #6: Getting Distracted

Checking that text is a slippery slope. The movement of your fingers from one app to another is like muscle memory. One moment you’re looking at a few quick Snapchat’s, and suddenly you’re stuck in the bowels of the Meme Section of Twitter.

Step #7: Bumping Tunes

No “getting ready” montage is complete without music. First, you must decide how you’re feeling, then find a playlist that suits your mood. Weather it be Rap Caviar, 80’s Hit’s, Alt. Rock or 2000’s Summer Jams, background music makes everything better.

Step #8: Calling a Friend

You have an outfit on, but you’re a little on the fence. For example; do these two patterns match? And how short is TOO short? The only reasonable solution is the mandatory Facetiming (yes that’s a verb) of your BFF to ask what she thinks. Maybe you two get side tracked talking about something that happened last week, but her advice is so invaluable that it’s worth it.

Step #9 The Missing Item

There’s always that one item that goes missing. Usually something small, and the key to tying your whole outfit together. That gold necklace, one shoe or belt always finds a way to disappear. Now you’re stuck, rifling through piles of clothes to find the one thing you should have kept your eye on… typical.

Step #10: But First… (Let Me Take a Selfie)

You never know when the perfect photo-opportunity will hit. You may be short on time, but when the golden hour sets in and that perfect light/shadow combination is creeping through your window…it’s time to break out the selfie stick. Maybe this is not necessary in this moment, but it sure is fun.

Step #11: Stopping for…

It’s amazing how with all that time allotted towards getting ready and preparing for the event, you forgot to eat, or maybe you really just did not feel like cooking. Regardless, Mamma taught you better than to show up somewhere hungry so…Chick-fil-A drive through it is.

Step #12: Hitting Traffic

Speeding is never okay. The law is set in place to keep you safe and you should never break it, except for when you’re late. What Google Maps calls a thirty-minute trip can be done in seventeen if you try hard enough, just know that “I had to get ready but now I’m late” will not persuade the cop from writing you up a pricey ticket.

Step #13: Fashionably Late

And here you are… late again. You don’t know how it happens, especially when you take so many precautionary measures. Yet once again you’re stuck sneaking into the back door and giving a “it wasn’t my fault lol” smile to all the peering eyes. This time wasn’t a success, but next time, that time, you’ll be on time.