13 Signs You're a New Jersey Driver

13 Signs You're a New Jersey Driver

The bravest, boldest, all around best drivers out there...
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Let’s face it: New Jersey definitely does not have the best reputation. Somewhere among being the armpit of the country, filled with “guidos” and “guidettes” we in New Jersey are also supposedly some of the worst drivers in the US. Being from New Jersey we can respond to this accusation in two ways: we could argue, and attempt to prove everyone wrong by obeying driving laws and driving safely. Or, we could have some fun, embrace our reputation and simultaneously arrive at every location faster than anyone else! Personally, I choose to embrace it. Here are 11 signs you are a confident New Jersey driver.

1. You have little to no idea how to pump your own gas

I guess you could say here in Jersey we are spoiled. If you've ever tried pumping gas in another state, it ends up being an unnecessary long ordeal, and you couldn't possibly make it any more obvious that you have no clue what you're doing...

2. You truly believe you are the best driver on the road.

Everyone else is inferior. Especially the out of state drivers. You don't hate them because they're bad drivers, you hate them because they're not from Jersey.

3. You have no patience for people driving slow in the left lane…or slow in any lane for that matter

If you're not going at least 15 mph over the speed limit, you are simply doing it wrong.

4. You define locations by their exit off the parkway

Exit 63: Long Beach Island, Exit 13: Avalon, Exit 100A: Asbury Park.

5. You’re not afraid to flip someone off, or roll down the window and give them a piece of your mind

The classic New Jersey salute, accompanied by road rage and rather foul language. We've all been there.

6. You defy death at least once on every trip to the grocery store

But it most likely wasn't your fault... because you're the best driver on the road.

7. You speed up for yellow lights, not slow down

Red lights? Ain't nobody got time for that. Yellow lights mean speed up, you can always make it if you try...

8. You own at least one PBA card that has helped you get out of a minor speeding ticket

Your cousin, your uncle, your neighbor and your friend all happen to be cops in the area. Therefore, you are invincible and will continue to drive as you please, because not even the cops can stop you.

9. You give someone .05 seconds to move when the light turns green before blaring your horn at them until they move

You've got places to be, there's no time to waste!

10. You create your own parking spots when parking lots are full

Just because there aren't technically any spots left doesn't mean you won't park there...

11. You are a master of jughandles

Because why just make one left when you can make two?! Just sit back and watch as out of state drivers struggle to figure out the maze that is our jughandle.

12. You make U-turns wherever you please


No U-Turn sign? No problem!

13. Your favorite move is the NJ Slide

You like to change over 3 lanes at the last possible second to get to the exit you need to get to, while simultaneously disregarding the well-being of every driver around you.

While we may not technically be the best drivers out there, we get where we need to go and we do it in our own unique (sometime dangerous) way. New Jersey gets a lot of heat, but most of us have learned to embrace it at this point; we love our little state no matter what anyone says, and we wouldn’t want to drive anywhere else.

Cover Image Credit: https://ak-hdl.buzzfed.com/static/2015-03/9/4/enhanced/webdr01/anigif_enhanced-buzz-18024-1425890025-16.gif

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College As Told By Junie B. Jones

A tribute to the beloved author Barbara Parks.
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The Junie B. Jones series was a big part of my childhood. They were the first chapter books I ever read. On car trips, my mother would entertain my sister and me by purchasing a new Junie B. Jones book and reading it to us. My favorite part about the books then, and still, are how funny they are. Junie B. takes things very literally, and her (mis)adventures are hilarious. A lot of children's authors tend to write for children and parents in their books to keep the attention of both parties. Barbara Park, the author of the Junie B. Jones series, did just that. This is why many things Junie B. said in Kindergarten could be applied to her experiences in college, as shown here.

When Junie B. introduces herself hundreds of times during orientation week:

“My name is Junie B. Jones. The B stands for Beatrice. Except I don't like Beatrice. I just like B and that's all." (Junie B. Jones and the Stupid Smelly Bus, p. 1)

When she goes to her first college career fair:

"Yeah, only guess what? I never even heard of that dumb word careers before. And so I won't know what the heck we're talking about." (Junie B. Jones and her Big Fat Mouth, p. 2)

When she thinks people in class are gossiping about her:

“They whispered to each other for a real long time. Also, they kept looking at me. And they wouldn't even stop." (Junie B., First Grader Boss of Lunch, p. 66)

When someone asks her about the library:

“It's where the books are. And guess what? Books are my very favorite things in the whole world!" (Junie B. Jones and the Stupid Smelly Bus, p. 27)

When she doesn't know what she's eating at the caf:

“I peeked inside the bread. I stared and stared for a real long time. 'Cause I didn't actually recognize the meat, that's why. Finally, I ate it anyway. It was tasty...whatever it was." (Junie B., First Grader Boss of Lunch, p. 66)

When she gets bored during class:

“I drew a sausage patty on my arm. Only that wasn't even an assignment." (Junie B. Jones Loves Handsome Warren, p. 18)

When she considers dropping out:

“Maybe someday I will just be the Boss of Cookies instead!" (Junie B., First Grader Boss of Lunch, p. 76)

When her friends invite her to the lake for Labor Day:

“GOOD NEWS! I CAN COME TO THE LAKE WITH YOU, I BELIEVE!" (Junie B. Jones Smells Something Fishy, p. 17)

When her professor never enters grades on time:

“I rolled my eyes way up to the sky." (Junie B., First Grader Boss of Lunch, p. 38)

When her friends won't stop poking her on Facebook:


“Do not poke me one more time, and I mean it." (Junie B. Jones Smells Something Fishy, p. 7)

When she finds out she got a bad test grade:

“Then my eyes got a little bit wet. I wasn't crying, though." (Junie B. Jones and the Stupid Smelly Bus, p. 17)

When she isn't allowed to have a pet on campus but really wants one:

“FISH STICK! I NAMED HIM FISH STICK BECAUSE HE'S A FISH STICK, OF COURSE!" (Junie B. Jones Smells Something Fishy, p. 59)

When she has to walk across campus in the dark:

“There's no such thing as monsters. There's no such thing as monsters." (Junie B. Jones Has a Monster Under Her Bed, p. 12)

When her boyfriend breaks her heart:

“I am a bachelorette. A bachelorette is when your boyfriend named Ricardo dumps you at recess. Only I wasn't actually expecting that terrible trouble." (Junie B. Jones Is (almost) a Flower Girl, p. 1)

When she paints her first canvas:


"And painting is the funnest thing I love!" (Junie B. Jones and her Big Fat Mouth, p. 61)

When her sorority takes stacked pictures:

“The biggie kids stand in the back. And the shortie kids stand in the front. I am a shortie kid. Only that is nothing to be ashamed of." (Junie B. Jones Has a Monster Under Her Bed, p. 7)

When she's had enough of the caf's food:

“Want to bake a lemon pie? A lemon pie would be fun, don't you think?" (Junie B. Jones Has a Monster Under Her Bed p. 34)

When she forgets about an exam:

“Speechless is when your mouth can't speech." (Junie B. Jones Loves Handsome Warren, p. 54)

When she finds out she has enough credits to graduate:

“A DIPLOMA! A DIPLOMA! I WILL LOVE A DIPLOMA!" (Junie B. Jones is a Graduation Girl p. 6)

When she gets home from college:

"IT'S ME! IT'S JUNIE B. JONES! I'M HOME FROM MY SCHOOL!" (Junie B. Jones and some Sneaky Peaky Spying p. 20)

Cover Image Credit: OrderOfBooks

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Goodbye School, Hello Real World

I'm ready for ya!

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It's starting to hit me.

I've been in school, year after year, since kindergarten. Maybe even pre-school!

Now, I'm about to graduate with my bachelors in communication and I couldn't be more proud of myself. I'll say it. I often sugarcoat it or suppress it but d*mn it. I'm going to applaud myself. It was hard work. It took a lot of motivation, determination, (caffeine), and willpower to get to where I am today. I worked my ass off.

That being said, I can't help but think... What is life without due dates? What is life like without scrambling to turn in an assignment that's due at 11:59 PM? What is life like with actual sleep? Sleep? I don't know her.

Like I keep telling my boyfriend and my parents, I don't have it all figured out. At least not right now. But I will, and I'm in no rush to land my dream job right now. If anything, I want to take a year to myself. I want to travel. I want to sleep in if I d*mn well please! I want to read as many books as I want. I want to write till my fingers fall off (OK, maybe not that).

You get the jist.

I'm free. I can do and be whatever I want. And you know what? That's terrifying.

I'm lost. I've followed this structure for so long. Now what?

I don't have all the answers yet. But for now, at least right at this very moment, I'm so thankful to have been able to receive such an amazing education. And to be able to say I'm graduating with my bachelors in communication at 21 is an accomplishment in itself.

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