I grew up in the small, quaint town of Pen Argyl, Pennsylvania. It was nestled along a mountain side with farmland stretching as far as the eye could see. Now, while some people may not like it there, I was happy to graduate from Pen Argyl High School and I'm happy to call this place "home". Here are just a few quirks of growing up in a small redneck town that make me chuckle from time to time!
1. You might be late to work or school due to cow-crossing.
Oh yes, that was an acceptable excuse to be late to class at my school. Especially if you lived in the rural part, like I did, you better not be surprised (or angry) if you had to wait for a herd of cows to cross the road in front of you. And no, blaring your horn did not make them move any faster.
2. Same thing goes for farm equipment.
There was actually a warning going around to all drivers in my area to be careful when you're behind farm equipment and to slow down. Seeing a combine tractor coming up the road that took up pretty much the entire road was a normal sight for me!
3. You knew EVERYONE in your class.
Small town=smaller school. I barely had one hundred students in my graduating class. Not only did I know all of them, but I knew everyone in the older grades and everyone who was younger than me. There were definitely perks, like going through every milestone in life with the same people. But the cons, well, sometimes you knew a little too much about someone...
4. Porsche? BMW? Nah, a truck will do!
Not only did trucks and Jeeps fill up my school's parking lot, but you could hear a lot of them coming down the road a mile or so away. And your truck or Jeep wasn't completely "finished" until it had a LED light bar across the top, 32 inch mud tires, and was lifted so high that your girlfriend could barely jump in (sounds like someone I know).
5. We have a day off for hunting.
I don't hunt myself, even though I'd love to. But hunting is so important to rednecks that there's no school the Monday after Thanksgiving so you can go out at 5am and wait for that perfect shot.
6. Mudding is a favorite past-time.
If you don't like to get dirty, this isn't your place to live. If there's any minute of free-time, you can find kids hopping on their fourwheelers and dirtbikes, heading for the muddiest trails they can find. And the funniest part is that the parents will probably join in too.
7. High school football is a big deal.
People here at college look at me like I have ten heads when I say I'm going home to watch the football game that weekend. If you look around that stadium on a Saturday afternoon, you'll see people of all ages waiting for the teams to run out. Students, teachers, parents, babies, grandparents, graduated players, and the rest of the town all make the trek to the football field each and every weekend of the season.
8. Sometimes the rooster wakes you up first.
Do you really need that alarm clock? Probably not.
9. You have to know the back roads in order to get anywhere.
There's no such thing as a straight, well-paved, wide road where I live. You better be ready to turn down some half-dirt road full of potholes that snakes through the woods if you want to get from point A to point B.
10. Country music is a way of life around here.
From Luke Bryan to Carrie Underwood to Darius Rucker and beyond, we love our Cat Country radio station!
11. Nobody knows where your town is.
Except for any locals, your town probably isn't recognized by anyone else. "Pen Argyl? Where's that?"
12. Camouflage is a fashion statement.
I chuckled when some students at my college thought that you only wear camo if and when you go out to hunt. Pair that up with old jeans and steel-toed boots and that describes a good portion of the wardrobe you saw around my high school.
13. "You guys are such hillbillies!"
Of course, the best way to confirm whether you're a hillbilly or not is to be called one! We always laugh when a new student comes to our school and calls us a bunch of rednecks. What can I say; we love our guns, love our country, aren't afraid to do the dirty work, and have Trump signs all over our yards. If that's what a redneck hillbilly is, I don't really see a problem with that!
Every small town has its quirks and even though you may be excited to get out "to the big city", that small town will always have a little piece of you. So in a world that's full of dressed-up office workers wielding handfuls of cash, don't be afraid to break out your camo hat, throw on those jeans with old mud stains, call up a few friends, and do whatever those stupid rednecks do for fun!
