Since people were so thrown off by my recent article, "34 Chokers That Are Actually Deadly Snakes But Super Cute," I have decided to do it again. Thanks to Odyssey Rejects, I'm continuing to write ridiculous articles from a Twitter account.
So without further ado, I have created a template for you to follow if you ever feel inclined to write an article about your hometown. Simply fill in your hometown's unique facts and boom, you've got an article that only the people that are actually from your hometown will care to click on.
1. You have a high school rivalry with the neighboring town, but you'll never forget that one time you beat them in that one game.
Not to mention you still feel a little angry when someone tells you they're from your rival town.
2. There's some cool little diner or coffee shop that everyone goes to.
It's the place to be, especially on that one day of the week that they have a special.
3. There was some semi-famous person that came out of your town that you're weirdly proud of even though most people still don't know who they are.
"Did you see that one movie where that guy walked around in the background of the supermarket scene as an extra?" Yeah dude, he's from my hometown! Pretty crazy, huh?
4. You and all your friends and family are all hardcore fans of the same (and only) sports team in the area.
Either that or you fall on a bordering town in which the team you cheer for is a highly contested issue among peers.
5. You know how to pronounce everything correctly and when some naive person comes in from out of town, you'll make fun of their accent until they leave.
"HAHA. Look at this loser. He's pronouncing the name of that nearby city with 56 letters, 14 numbers and six apostrophes all wrong. He's obviously an outsider."
6. There's some sort of issue with a road somewhere in your town.
"Ugh, yeah. Sorry I'm late for school. I got stuck at that red light at that one intersection again. That's the worst."
7. The weather in your hometown is totally unique and no one else has ever experienced that kind of weather. Ever.
And it probably affected your ability to go to school (or you're pissed it didn't.)
8. Your town has an area code and you refer to it as if people have actually memorized all area codes ever.
I will only let this slide if you are actually from Beverly Hills.
9. There's a fair or a parade and if you don't go to it, you're not truly from your town (even if you are.)
"Hey man, I didn't see you at that generic festival we have every year. It's like you're not even from here."
10. There was a clothing trend at your high school. Other people just wouldn't understand.
No one else in the world was into the Ugg boots trend. That was totally just your school.
11. You either graduated with like 800 people or four and for some reason, it seems like an important statistic.
Everybody either knew everyone's business or you didn't even know the names of half the people you graduated with. There is no in between.
12. You know the best local places to get anything you could ever want: donuts, coffee, ice cream...
You bring all your friends from out of town there to experience the "culture" of your city.
13. Your hometown is obviously the best hometown. It's "super special" and "one of a kind" and will always hold a piece of your heart wherever you go.
And damn it, you're proud to be from there.
