13 Morning-After Texts You Received From The Mistakes You F*cked Last Semester
Start writing a post
Swoon

13 Morning-After Texts You Received From The Mistakes You F*cked Last Semester

I don't regret anything, but boy, were some mistakes made.

116
13 Morning-After Texts You Received From The Mistakes You F*cked Last Semester
Unsplash

The icing on the cake after a rather poor choice in hookup is when the boy wakes up thinking that you’re suddenly hooked on him. Yeah, like I want to repeat that mistake.

All would’ve been forgotten had he let it go, but when have you ever met a boy that didn’t complicate your life? Here's to the f*ckboys whose egos can’t grasp that we, too, wish to never see them again.

1. "No hard feelings."

No hard feelings about what? Like it's my fault you chose to sleep with me???

2. "You gamed the f*ck out of me. Well played."

I'm sorry, what the actual f*ck?

3. "Let’s just keep this to a one-time thing."

My pleasure. Your d*ck was a lot smaller than I thought it was going to be anyway. Super awkward.

4. "What happened last night?"

It's cute how you think I might have a better clue than you.

5. "If my girlfriend tries messaging you, please ignore her. I’ll explain later."

Fun fact: he will never explain later.

6. "Blackout Nate can’t f*ck."

Oh, trust me, I know. I still let you try for an hour, though.

7. "I couldn’t tell you anything about last night. I don’t even know how I got home."

It scares me how well some people function while blackout—to the point where I don't even suspect they blacked until they tell me they can't remember a damn thing.

8. "I’ll pay you back for Plan B if you need it."

That's a nice offer. It's too bad I NEVER saw that money. Boys, if you don't offer to pay for any portion of Plan B in the first place, we'll accept that you're a**holes and move on with our lives. But if you offer and ghost us or can't step up, then shut up.

9. "Oh, by the way, are you clean? Should I get tested?"

Out of context, the first question is very valid, and I'm happy to answer it. In the context that I received this text in, boy, I do NOT like what you're suggesting. If you're really that paranoid, just go get tested.

10. "I promise I’m not dodging you."

Yes, this is very evident considering you were supposed to show up three times and never did.

11. "Yeah, let’s not tell anyone about last night."

Too late. I had to tell everyone how poorly you treated me post-hookup, and I'm not sorry about it at all.

12. "It’s just that I don’t like mixing business with pleasure."

It's far too late for that. Wouldn't you agree?

13. "I left my wallet. Can you bring it to me later?"

Why do boys forget at least one item almost every single time even after spending a good 10 minutes making sure they didn't leave anything?


I don't regret any of my hookups because at one point, they're what I wanted. However, that doesn't mean that some of them weren't mistakes. So here's to smarter choices and boys that know how to treat girls better.

Report this Content
Featured

How I Celebrate Valentine's Day

Every person, every couple celebrates Valentines in different ways, but there are a few things to keep in mind.

63
How I Celebrate Valentine's Day
https://stokpic.com/project/love-heart-art-on-urban-street/

Ah, Valentines Day, a day of excitement for some and heart break for many. There are three kinds of people on Valentine's Day: the ones who make it a big deal, a little deal, and those who are single, but Valentine's Day can be fun for anyone if you have the right spirit in mind.

Keep Reading... Show less
Warner Bros. Television

1. You don't have to feel guilty about flirting with customers for tips (or just for shits and giggles).

2. You can be obnoxiously flirtatious with anyone you want. You are free to be that girl that flirts with everybody and makes 'em all smile (it's especially fun when the guy is as cute as Collin Jost). No shame.

3. Making random men nervous with your superior beauty and intense eye contact just for the hell of it is really amusing and empowering.

4. No one gives two poops if ya legs are hairy (your man shouldn't either but *Kermit the Frog meme* That's none of my business)

Keep Reading... Show less
Featured

Black History Month? Try Black History Year

What does Black History Month mean to you?

768
madamenoire

African Americans have done so much and will forever be remembered for their accomplishments. In my opinion, there is no such thing as Black History Month. All year, we should celebrate the amazing poetry, music, inventions, and accomplishments that has surfaced over the last 100 years. Let's take a look...

Keep Reading... Show less
Featured

A TikTok Ban? Nope, That's Not Happening

We've seen this movie before with the popular social media app.

3666
tiktok

Here we go again. There's a groundswell of support to ban TikTok in the United States.

Keep Reading... Show less
Content Inspiration

Top 3 Response Articles of This Week

Check out what's trending on Odyssey!

4113
writing on a page with a hand holding a pen as if the person is beginning to write something
c1.staticflickr.com

Looking for some inspiration to kick off your Monday? Check out these articles by our talented team of response writers! From poetry to tips for manifesting your dream life, there's something for everyone.

Keep Reading... Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments