13 Morning-After Texts You Received From The Mistakes You F*cked Last Semester
Start writing a post
Swoon

13 Morning-After Texts You Received From The Mistakes You F*cked Last Semester

I don't regret anything, but boy, were some mistakes made.

109
13 Morning-After Texts You Received From The Mistakes You F*cked Last Semester
Unsplash

The icing on the cake after a rather poor choice in hookup is when the boy wakes up thinking that you’re suddenly hooked on him. Yeah, like I want to repeat that mistake.

All would’ve been forgotten had he let it go, but when have you ever met a boy that didn’t complicate your life? Here's to the f*ckboys whose egos can’t grasp that we, too, wish to never see them again.

1. "No hard feelings."

No hard feelings about what? Like it's my fault you chose to sleep with me???

2. "You gamed the f*ck out of me. Well played."

I'm sorry, what the actual f*ck?

3. "Let’s just keep this to a one-time thing."

My pleasure. Your d*ck was a lot smaller than I thought it was going to be anyway. Super awkward.

4. "What happened last night?"

It's cute how you think I might have a better clue than you.

5. "If my girlfriend tries messaging you, please ignore her. I’ll explain later."

Fun fact: he will never explain later.

6. "Blackout Nate can’t f*ck."

Oh, trust me, I know. I still let you try for an hour, though.

7. "I couldn’t tell you anything about last night. I don’t even know how I got home."

It scares me how well some people function while blackout—to the point where I don't even suspect they blacked until they tell me they can't remember a damn thing.

8. "I’ll pay you back for Plan B if you need it."

That's a nice offer. It's too bad I NEVER saw that money. Boys, if you don't offer to pay for any portion of Plan B in the first place, we'll accept that you're a**holes and move on with our lives. But if you offer and ghost us or can't step up, then shut up.

9. "Oh, by the way, are you clean? Should I get tested?"

Out of context, the first question is very valid, and I'm happy to answer it. In the context that I received this text in, boy, I do NOT like what you're suggesting. If you're really that paranoid, just go get tested.

10. "I promise I’m not dodging you."

Yes, this is very evident considering you were supposed to show up three times and never did.

11. "Yeah, let’s not tell anyone about last night."

Too late. I had to tell everyone how poorly you treated me post-hookup, and I'm not sorry about it at all.

12. "It’s just that I don’t like mixing business with pleasure."

It's far too late for that. Wouldn't you agree?

13. "I left my wallet. Can you bring it to me later?"

Why do boys forget at least one item almost every single time even after spending a good 10 minutes making sure they didn't leave anything?


I don't regret any of my hookups because at one point, they're what I wanted. However, that doesn't mean that some of them weren't mistakes. So here's to smarter choices and boys that know how to treat girls better.

Report this Content

I just recently got engaged and planning a wedding during a pandemic is actually kind of a nightmare.

A lot of venues are taken for 2021 because of corona brides and grooms who have had to reschedule their weddings and the same goes for other vendors and literally everything else.

Keep Reading... Show less

While promoting her most recent movie, "Work It," Sabrina Carpenter has divulged some of her favorite beauty products to interviewers.

Keep Reading... Show less

When I say we can't stop thinking about the relationship advice Miley Cyrus dropped on "Call Her Daddy" today, I mean it literally.

Her truth bombs hit me (and most who listened) like a wrecking ball and coupled with the release of her new song "Midnight Sky," we're going to need some time to process the greatness. In case you haven't listened yet (what are you waiting for?), here are 10 relationship tips Miley shared that we should all live by for the rest of time.

Keep Reading... Show less
Lifestyle

Founders Of Color: Rec Room's Dre Taylor On What Blackness Can Look Like And Not Working For Free

"It mattered to me that when we were depicting racial diversity for Rec Room, we showed the broad spectrum of what Blackness can look like."

Rec Room

The world of sustainable fashion is inundated with marketing gimmicks, false advertising, and large corporations cutting corners — Rec Room is the pure antithesis of that.

Keep Reading... Show less
FOX

"New Girl" is one of the best sitcoms of all time. Honestly, it is so much fun to watch, so much fun to relate to, just all around a great show.

Not only is a great show, it has so many different great settings, obviously including the loft. If you live by Nick Miller quotes and desperately tried to learn how to play "True American," you need to buy these things because you are a true "New Girl" fan.

Keep Reading... Show less

You know those items you've been pinning to your Home board on Pinterest for [insert amount of time]? Well, it's officially the moment to turn that wishlist into a married life reality, and it's going to be SO fun.

But, before you get to shopping and adding things to your upgraded bridal wishlist (sorry, Pinterest, it was lovely while it lasted), you'll first want to decide where you want to open your registry (or registries, if you want options). Here are 17 of the best websites and stores to consider saying "I do" to for your wedding registry, to have and to hold for as long as people are buying you wedding gifts.

Keep Reading... Show less

If you've ever been in the dating game, or currently are, chances are you've had a date gone wrong. These are often times super embarrassing, but they are always funny to look back on.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

5 At-Home Therapy Tips You Need, No Matter What Your Therapy Routine Is

Whether you're in a Zoom session or live-chatting, make sure your home therapy space is good to go.

No matter what stigmas you held about therapy before this year, I'm sure 2020 has affirmed that we could ALL use a nice long therapy session. Between wildfires that took over an entire continent, a global health crisis, and what's sure to be one giant circus of an election in the United States, we need help and we need it now.

The fact of the matter is, therapy has been a helpful, valid resource long before the world decided to become one giant dumpster fire. Having a safe space to discuss what's going on in your life, worries you have, and struggles you're facing has become a very normal thing for individuals' mental health.

Keep Reading... Show less

Dunkin' just announced that they'll be releasing their fall menu earlier than ever — set to debut on August 19 — and that it'll include new menu options this season, including a new signature pumpkin spice latte. Let me just say, Starbucks has some fall-menu competition now.

Keep Reading... Show less

When it comes to wedding planning, each and every detail is customized to the style of the couple. From venue and decorations to food and beverages, nothing gets overlooked — whether your wedding is big, small, or virtual.

The same thing goes for invites, which are getting more and more beautiful every wedding season. If you're looking to customize your wedding invitations, the options are endless... you can add pictures if you wish, opt for fancy artwork, or keep it simple with just text).

Keep Reading... Show less
Facebook Comments