1. "Are you on a gluten free diet just because it's trendy?"

Yes. I am spending $8 on a small bag of pretzels just so I can follow the newest fad. Sure. I go to sleepovers and sit to the side with a chocolate bar while everybody else eats Twix, pretzel M&M's, and Kit Kats just for the fun of it.

2. "Are you trying to lose weight?"

Fun fact: I actually gained seven pounds after I started my gluten free diet. In order to make the food not taste completely horrible and mimic the dry texture and tasteless flavor of cardboard, copious amounts of sugar is added. Therefore, it is inevitable that you gain weight. Sorry honey, it's like mean girls all over again. You think you are going to drop weight, but you are really going to gain it.

3. "You must really miss bread."

*Casually sits next to you at The Cheesecake Factory while you shove fresh, warm, delicious smelling bread into your mouth.* Okay, I'm just going to sip on my water now. That will disguise my hunger, won't it?

4. "That cookie looks disgusting."

It may not look good, but it actually tastes fantastic. And that is not just according to my wheat-hating tastebuds. Apparently, to regular people, gluten-free deserts taste better than regular ones. Or they just say that to make me feel better and disguise all the delicious foods I'm missing out on.

5. "Just have a little piece of cake, it won't hurt."

So you're meaning to tell me that the days of exhaustion, abdominal pains, headaches, and vomiting won't hurt? Because that's basically what happens, even if I eat a sliver of that delicious red velvet cake that's sitting in front of me right now, making me internally cry and wish my life didn't suck.

6. "Wait, so like, you can't have beer?"

Sigh. Not only can I not drink beer, which is totally incomprehensible to many, I can't even be near it. Smelling it is enough for me to get sick, let alone ingesting the fermented gold-ish or dark brown liquid that you worship on a Thursday, Friday, or Saturday night. I know, I get it. At least my family over in Ireland doesn't hate me for it, or at least I don't think so ...

7. "Oh yeah, I know what a gluten free diet is! I tried it over the summer and couldn't last more than two days."

There is nothing more aggravating than hearing someone who chose to go gluten-free just because. The thing is, while they can quit whenever they want, I have to be careful about the potential of a wheat ingredient in my favorite shampoo or never having a root beer float again because there is gluten in brown food dye. Oh and also, you're driving up the cost on my foods and I do not like it ... one bit.

8. "You're such a picky eater."

I have to be! I have to be that one person who actually reads the food labels whilst shopping in the grocery store and that annoying person in a restaurant asking the waiter for the specific ingredients used in a meal. It's annoying to me too.

9. "It's okay, you will grow out of it."

I'm glad that you are the optimistic one. But lol, no. I've got this for the rest of my life.

10. "Just have a cheat day and eat the freaking pizza."

Eating gluten is like having a hangover, times infinity. It is something I would never wish on my worst enemy. You actually feel like you are dying. The pizza may look like it's worth it, but I can assure you it is most definitely not worth it.

11. "Can I try some?"

This is the part where I become obnoxious and rant about how expensive the food is, but I end up giving you some in the end because I want you to see how good it is and then you will finally stop giving me crap about it.

12. "Who wants to order pizza tonight for dinner?"

I guess I will just have to fend for myself. It's a long, dark, lonely road that I walk along. *cue Green Day music*

13. "Wow, your life must suck."

Yes, please. Tell me more.