Some people are diagnosed with food allergies/sensitivities by their doctor, and others just know that when they eat certain things they feel bad. Other times, someone is just simply monitoring their health. Nevertheless, regardless of the reason, there are some things that you should never say to someone who is choosing to or has to make lifestyle and diet changes.
1. When will you be off/over this "little diet thing"?
First of all, let me just say that any lifestyle change is not little to the person making it. It's difficult. Temptations are everywhere. It takes time and effort to be aware of everything that goes in your body. By saying it's little and implying that we will eventually quit, you basically say that you don't see our struggles or choices as valid or noteworthy.
2. You can't eat ___________?
No. No I can not. Stop asking.
3. But, if you can't have _______, that means you
can't eat __________________.
Yes, yes I know. Keep your little realizations about my life to yourself, please. I don't need another reminder of that or another reason to feel othered."
4. Sorry for eating this in front of you.
Stop that. If you really were, you wouldn't do it, but really, it's fine. I know that if I eat whatever it is you are eating, I would be physically ill, and I don't want that. So, go ahead. Enjoy your gluten, dairy, eggs, etc. I don't care. I'm used to it, and most of the time I don't miss those things because I certainly don't miss how they made me feel.
5. I couldn't do it.
Yes, yes you could. If you felt as bad as I used to, giving those things up would be way easier than a gluten, dairy, and egg free cake. All this statement does it tell me that you don't think your or my health is worth sacrifices.
Now, for some things that are helpful to say!
1. Can I try that?
We would LOVE for you to try our safe foods so that we don't feel so othered. But, be careful. Sometimes changes in ingredients make for unfamiliar experiences. So, if you don't like it, please don't tear it down. There are few things that we truly enjoy that we can have; don't ruin it. A simple, "eh, not for me," will do just fine.
2. You are doing so great!
Like I said earlier, making these lifestyle changes is HARD. We need some encouragement. This especially applies if the person is trying to lose weight or is losing weight because they've eliminated foods they are sensitive to. Sometimes, it is hard to see your own progress or to celebrate the little victories. So, we will take all the help we can get!
3. Where would you like to eat?
It is likely that we have a few select restaurants where we know we can get safe food. This relieves so much stress and anxiety from us.
4. You look so happy!
Food is the best medicine. If someone is eating better or avoiding their allergens, it is likely that they are sleeping better, feel better, and have a better temperament. Mention it!
