Halloween, without a doubt, is my favorite holiday. Who doesn't love dressing up like Miss America (or something more risqué), the crazy houses decked in spooky decorations, and of course, the butt loads of candy. While "all men are created equal," many Halloween candies are not. Is it too much to ask to make all candy make my taste buds dance? Apparently so.
With this in mind, I have endeavored to compile the worst Halloween candies we received as trick-or-treaters:
1. Candy Corn
It's literally all sugar and will make you sick within ten pieces. While this candy is the Halloween poster child for its autumnal colors, it's the worst for making you instantaneously sick.
2. Lemonheads
While I love sour candy, Lemonheads have way too much pucker. Even more than that, the packaging is straight weird with a guy with a combover and bowtie. Seriously, who came up with this?
3. Smarties
Like Candy Corn, Smarties are also straight sugar with no flavor. No one eats Smarties for fun because they resemble antacid medicine. No chalk for me, thanks.
4. Necco Wafers
These seriously have no flavor and like Smarties, look and taste like chalk. If you want to draw on your sidewalk and don't have any chalk, grab a Necco Wafer instead.
5. Dots
While seemingly fun at first with its gummy nature and vibrant colors, Dots stick to your teeth like no other and cause low key arthritis in your jaw from chewing so much. Not cool.
6. Bit-O-Honey
These resemble the candy you would find at your grandparents' house. While we love our grandparents, we hate the stale candy that makes us wonder if we'll ever stop chewing it. No one likes these. Period.
7. Circus Peanuts
No explanation needed.
8. Raisins
If it was once a fruit, it cannot be a candy. Enough said.
9. Toothpaste
I literally got toothpaste once from a dentist on my block. It was so traumatizing to receive this "treat" that I still remember it over a decade later. Where's the fun in toothpaste? Answer: There is none.
10. Good & Plenty
They are not good even though there are plenty of them.
11. Taffy
I'm not talking about Laffy Taffy, but the kind that's wrapped in wax paper. The flavors are weird and you never know how long they have been sitting out because they always taste stale.
12. Bazooka Bubble Gum
There is nothing "Bazooka" about this bubble gum. While having a catchy song that is sung at summer camps across the nation, this gum loses flavor in 30 seconds and seriously hurts your jaw.
