Ah, Maine-Endwell. Home of the Spartans and the...art department? Music department? Whatever. Just be able to kick a ball around and you'll be fine.
I kid. If I were forced to pick anywhere to redo my public education, I would still choose Maine-Endwell. With teachers who care about their students and students who care about their community, the school district is one of the best in Broome County.
Regardless, these are some things you will probably instantly remember happening once or twice (or every day who am I kidding) if you graduated from or still attend Maine-Endwell!
1. Not being able to check your phone in the hallway without getting screeched at.
Okay, so I understand the importance of putting your phone away in class so that it doesn't distract the teacher while they are trying to do their job, but honestly? In the hall? The hallways were our sanctuary, away from our learning environments. Let us live.
2. Walking the track during gym class because if you actually participated in whatever sport was being played, you'd lose a hand.
Or walking while everyone else ran the mile because you were too embarrassed to try to outshine those assholes who could get it over with in, like, seven minutes TOPS.
3. Having to stand in the hallways while the sports teams walked through before big games.
I mean, I'm all for supporting our peers (and getting out of class fifteen minutes early) but making us stand there and clap for people our own age was probably the most humiliating thing they ever made us do. Don't force people to clap. We'll clap if we want to clap.
4. FLOUR BABIES.
The most exciting part of my high school career was when I pulled a piece of paper out of a paper bag that determined the gender of a five-pound sack of flour. You carried your flour baby like a badge of honor (and protected it like it was five seconds away from getting stabbed, which it probably was). There was at least one stabbing a semester. You've probably never actually witnessed it, but I can say that you've probably seen the crime scene: flour all over the floor, maybe a broken pencil tip or two and some very giggly adolescent boys.
5. The swim unit in gym class.
Maybe a better way to label this point is as "trying your hardest to get out of the swim unit in gym class". I used the glasses excuse on more than one occasion. I'll let you in on a secret: I don't need my glasses to see in a pool. Our eyes are closed. Oops.
6. And to follow up: the two football units in gym class.
Literally no other sport got both a fall and a spring unit in gym. Was there a point to that or...?
Just because we have one of the best high school football teams in the country doesn't mean we all want to throw and catch a ball for two weeks straight twice a year.
7. The majority of your first period class strolling in a half hour late with Dunkin' Donuts.
How can they possibly be expected to learn without their medium pumpkin spice-vanilla cappuccino-latte-whatevers and their breakfast sandwiches. Fortunately, the world will never have to know.
8. Literally never having a snow day.
I am almost 100% positive that the district's administrators paid the snow plows to go out extra early on Maine-Endwell's bus routes. We never had to worry about poor Blue Ridge school district going out in the snow, though.
9. That one time they forced us to come into school the Friday of spring break because we had sooo many snow days.
Me, being the tiny, baby freshman I was, decided to go in. Like an idiot. Basically no one went to school that day.
10. When underclassmen park in the senior parking lot, riots ensue.
Just a pointer for those currently attending: don't even think about taking the seniors' parking spots, they'll probably hit you with their cars. Or at least try really hard. Or just make your life living hell in any other way they can. The shorter the walk to the building, the higher your status in school.
11. We weren't allowed to bring "props" to graduation.
Some people have to ruin things for everyone and bring blow-up sex dolls that "distract the administrators" while they're "making their speeches".
12. We all loved our crazy, sports-centered school anyways, though.
Thank goodness we didn't go to Union-Endicott. Or Vestal. Could you imagine?
