It's a universally agreed upon fact that Donald Trump is a piece of talking garbage with a poor excuse for a head of hair, so Facebook threats of picking up and moving to Europe if he's put in the Oval Office aren't entirely unwarranted; I even believe a few of these threats. Moving countries, however, is a big hassle. Here are 12 alternative actions to take if Donald Trump gets elected.

1. Scream directly into a Republican's open mouth.

While this might not solve the problem, it’s their party’s fault that a cheese puff’s evil twin incarnate now leads our nation. Relieving your anger in a healthy manner is crucial to surviving these next few years.

2. Fake your own death.

His policies can’t reach you if you’re dead! You will be safe when he tries to harvest your uterus for his human reproduction farm.

Disclaimer: apparent death will not exempt you from racial deportation or from religious detainment. Your coffin will be moved accordingly.

3. Take in a rattled Democratic state senator/governor.

Put a blanket over their back and give them a mug of hot chocolate. They need care and patience while in this fragile state to recuperate from the shock of Trump's election. In the months after his election, it will be all of our responsibility to make sure Hillary Clinton doesn't lose her shit. Get HillDog one of those extra fuzzy blankets and make sure she doesn't regress into a catatonic state.

4. Launch yourself directly into the sun with the help of NASA (before Trump kills the agency).

What better way to make a bold and sexy statement than to implore NASA’s technologies to help launch your body directly into the sun? It’s for science!

5. Retreat to that town in the Hidden Valley Ranch commercials.

I know you know what I'm taking about. Look at this place. I bet it'll take a few weeks for news to even reach them. I'm not a fan of vegetables, but eating them on the regular is a small price to pay for political asylum.

6. Go on a hunger strike until Trump gives you a small loan of $1 million.

Best case scenario: you get a small loan of $1 million to spend on superficial delights before the world implodes.

Worst case scenario: you die.

7. Attach three million balloons to Trump Tower and see if it'll float away to Paradise Falls.

Again, this might not solve anything, but I think we can all agree it'd be a great opportunity to test the accuracy of Pixar's beloved "Up!"

8. Cyberbully Trump until he resigns.

Start a twitter fight with this sun burnt, walking Reddit comment. Zero in on his flabby neck and failed marriages. Challenge his masculinity! "Why'd those marriages fail, Donny boy? Were there issues in the bedroom?" Don't hold back.

9. Catfish Trump posing as North Korea's Supreme Leader Kim Jong Un.

Set up a fake Facebook profile as Kim Jong Un and send Trump a few messages. Invite him out to eat! Ask him to come over and chill! Extend a few pleasantries and see if we can buy Donald Trump a one way ticket to North Korea.

10. Drink two entire bottles of Trader Joe's wine and ruin a nearby birthday party.

Nothing says happy birthday to a perfect stranger like barging into a random apartment party in your building in tears yelling something about dreams never coming true, how your dad was never proud of you, and eventually taking it back full-circle to the true source of your tears: Donald Trump. Don't be afraid to wonder aloud if your conservative cousin voted for Trump, and if it's her party that you should be crashing.

11. Drunk text your ex-boyfriend.

"Josh, did you see this? Trump won? Did you see it? Wow, it’s been a long time since we’ve talked. How are you? Isn’t it crazy how things started falling apart around us when we broke up? Lol, idk, maybe it’s just me, ha ha, have you noticed too?? Anyway, let me know if you want to hang out, I have plenty of wine!"

12. Drape all of the portraits in your home with a black veil.

We don’t need to dishonor our relatives by letting their three-year-old children continue to smile on a Christmas card hanging on your fridge while Donald Trump is sworn into office. It's time to properly mourn our country.

Don't let news of Donald Trump's life success get you down. Give some of these suggestions a try and I bet you'll be feeling better in no time!