Ahhh the world of Facebook. It helps you keep in touch with long distance friends and family members, and lets you know what's going on in everyone's life. Except anyone you actually care about miraculously doesn't post anything on Facebook anymore, and your feed fills up with these people instead.
1. The person who never left home.
Also known as the illiterate because their posts have all kinds of misspellings. They never got out of your hometown, and are pretty darn okay with that.
Typical post: "Look! I shoot deer!" *Picture posing with a dead deer*
2. The married with children.
They got married right out of high school, and it's possible they're married to the small town hick.
Typical post: LOOK AT MY BABY AND ALL ITS CUTENESS THIS IS MY LIFE NOW.
3. The one who already has a kid.
Most likely the younger sibling of someone you went to high school with. All of a sudden they're in love with their boyfriend of one month, because they're stuck to this person for at least 18 years.
Typical post: Those creepy "My baby's progress" pictures every week.
4. The traveler.
Their life is awesome and they're well-traveled and all around make you feel like crap about yourself.
Typical post: Pictures of beaches, landmarks, and ethnic food.
5. The one with a dream job.
This person is the next Steve Jobs and they've barely graduated. They spent all their time partying in college so you wonder what you did wrong.
Typical post: "If you believe it, you can achieve it." ~OR~ pictures with a celebrity they met at the office that day.
6. The one who peaked in high school.
Their profile picture is probably one from their last high school football game their senior year and they're a junior in college.
Typical post: "#tbt to the state championship"
7. The activist.
They make sure everyone knows their views no matter what political party they're affiliated with.
Typical post: a critique of a political article ~OR~ a gruesome picture with a caption ranting about people's ignorance.
8. The pet-obsessed.
This person likes animals more than they like people. Their own animal is the only thing worth posting about in their mind.
Typical post: a picture of their pet in a sweater.
9. The lonely.
Takes the term Facebook "friends" too seriously.
Typical post: "Someone text me I'm bored."
10. The dramatic.
Apparently they have issues dealing with conflict in person and blow up your feed with passive aggressive statuses.
Typical post: "Looks like people don't know the meaning of loyalty anymore, what a shame :/"
11. The parent who is new to this "Facebook" thing.
The way they have no idea what's going on is almost endearing.
Typical post: usually something meant to be a google search like "strawberry rhubarb pie recipe."
12. The daily activity poster.
Because seriously, everyone cares what this person is doing every minute of the day.... Really.
Typical post: "Just got coffee, now off to work."
