It's 2016, and grocery store shelves are stocked to the brim with endless choices of food and drink. It seems as if every month Kellogg's pops out a new cereal flavor, or Lay's is embarking on uncharted territory with some outlandish new chip like "butterscotch peppercorn". Don't get me wrong, new culinary experiences are exciting...it got us the 1/2 lb Reese's cups. But have you ever found yourself yearning for what used to be? Those items that saw fame and fortune only to be snuffed out in the wake of their prime.
I do. And we are here to remember their greatness. These unsung heroes will never be forgotten as long as we keep them in memory (or continuously harass food companies with emails begging them to bring them back). Let's travel on a journey through time as we look back on some great, and for humor's sake, not so great, legends of the past.
1. Oreo O's.
As if Oreo's alone were not already enough, they gave us something even better. A cereal. Not to mention they were incredibly hearty, like, the cereal pieces were thick. It took Oreo's and milk to a whole new level. Oreo O's, we salute you.
2. Dunkaroos.
I don't care if Teddy Grahams and Betty Crocker icing are a formidable match, nothing will ever hold a candle to those kangaroo cookies and deliciously sinful icing.
3. EZ Squirt Ketchup.
Well, this is one of those items that we will remember for its novelty, and also for the way it made us rethink eating altogether. It just goes to show that ketchup is meant to be red, not an off purple sludge.
4. Butterfinger BB's.
Ahhh. When Butterfingers could be eaten in pellet form. It was convenient, exciting and even endorsed by our favorite yellow tinted cartoon characters. But the best part? They still stuck to your teeth.
5. Uh-Oh Oreos.
Before you go hollering about the fact that "Golden Oreos" exist, it's about the MARKETING. It was the rhyme, the possibility that somewhere in some Oreo factory, some worker goofed and reversed the recipe...and made one heck of a delicious mistake.
6. Lunchables.
While Lunchables are still on the market, Oscar Mayer has seriously revamped their style (and some products) over the years. They no longer provide options like breakfast lunchables (pancakes, waffles, and cinnamon rolls), the All Star Hamburgers, and the pizza with "Treatza" where you could make a dessert pizza. Yeah...maybe these aren't total losses.
7. Dolphins and Friends.
When Cheez-its weren't cool enough at your lunch table and you brought out their exciting red-headed step-brother of a cracker known as Dolphins and Friends. Sure, they were a bit harder to chew and lacked the natural appeal of their square counterpart, but it gave you the option to play with your food without looking like a total nut.
8. Squeezit.
Oh man, oh man. Put on some N'sync and toss a Squeezit my way. That was actually a lyric I think. In 2001, these stylish drinks left our hearts broken when they were pulled off the shelves, much like when we heard N'sync wasn't getting back together. It was a tough couple of years.
9. Reese's Swoops.
This was kind of like when Paris Hilton tried singing and we all tried to forget it happened because it was just weird. Reese's Swoops were not necessarily nasty, but when they were shaped like a Pringle and you were not necessarily eating a Pringle, it just kind of threw us for a loop.
10. Hubba Bubba Jug.
Powdered bubble gum. Powder that activated into gum when it entered your mouth cavity. Is it safe? Will I grow another head? Let's stick to bubble tape, please.
11. Chocolate Covered Altoids.
I mean Altoids and chocolate still exist, but when they were put together things just made sense. It was almost like a dessert mint. Let's face it, chocolate makes everything better.
12. The OLD FASHIONED Trix.
Someone once made a reference to the Polar Express conundrum in reference to Trix cereal. What if we are all just too old/mature to see the original shapes...because we don't believe. WE BELIEVE IN THE RABBIT. Boring spheres just don't compare to rudimentary fruit shapes.
So, there you have it. A trip down memory lane with some legendary greats, and some that were just better off not having existed at all. But on a high note...
Wonder Balls are back. Let us rejoice.
