Alright, yeah, I'll admit it. I'm not a vegan. Big whoop. I LOVE to eat meat, and I don't care who knows it. When I sit down for a delicious meal at the end of a long day, it gives me great pleasure to know that something died for the sole purpose of my well-being. So, now, tell me, why the hell can't I eat these animals?

1. Panda Bear

This would be, without a doubt, one of my favorite animals to hunt down and kill with my bear hands. I'd rip the bones from its body with ease, but NO, I CAN'T, because it's CUTE or something. What a load of bogus.

2. The horn of a rhinoceros

Yeah, the rhinoceros meat might be a little tough for me, so I would only eat the horn. What about it? Damn right I would still kill the rhino. I'm not a chump.

3. Maybe a wolf, maybe a dog?

Pretty sure if's a wolf, so I'm okay with eating it. So what if it's a dog's cousin? I've already eaten my own cousin.

4. Yeah, I'd still eat a dog

I've given it some thought, and I'd slaughter any wolf/dog thing that I could find, as long as I get to have some of that juicy, delicious meat. Literally, all dogs.

5. Yup, even the President's dog

By the time Obama has called his pesky little servants, his dog will be half digested. This is America, land of the FREE [DOG MEAT]!

6. A peacock

Beautiful creatures, aren't they? Probably beautiful smothered in barbecue sauce, too.

7. Bald eagle

Come on, people! America's first successful exportation to the Old World was bald eagle meat! Why did we ever stop this? #MakeBaldEaglesAMealAgain

8. Ponies in sweaters

"No, ma, I don't need you to cut off the sweaters! I'll eat the whole thing!" #PREACH

9. This little bundle of tasty kittens

My mouth is watering just looking at this picture.

10. A delicatessen-style horse

Don't lie to yourself, you've been eating it for years.

11. This hedgehog (take that, MILLENNIALS)

Hope you find a nice safe space while I eat your prickly little bags of meat!

12. Humans

Let's get this straight: I'm not a cannibal, but I can definitely see the benefits.