Breakups are the dreaded outcome of every new relationship. The end to something that was once so good is a blow that takes time to heal. But what about that one relationship that never actually happened? The one that you spent weeks pouring time and effort into to watch it grow and amount to nothing but heartbreak. The one that you told all your friends about because you were so sure that this one was going to work out. The one that made you happier than you have ever been before. What happens when the almost relationship crashes and burns? You grieve.
After the initial "let's be just friends" text, your mind becomes a whirlwind of thoughts and emotions. You are hurt, confused, shocked, but most of all angry. Angry that you were led on for so long and that you put in so much effort. You become furious that you let down the walls you had so carefully built to keep out any and all who may hurt you. The letters, gifts, and late night phone calls all seem worthless without the hope of a future with this person. You are angry with yourself for not seeing through the facade. Most of all, you are angry with your almost person for deceiving you for so long.
Once the anger begins to fade, hurt sets in. Every memory comes flooding back and you are hit with a tidal wave of sadness. You will never make them smile like you once did. They will no longer get butterflies when they see or hear your name. And the worst realization of all comes when you acknowledge that you will never hold them or kiss them again. Every thing that once reminded you of your person will suddenly return to normal. Night after night, you wonder what you did to cause things to go south so quickly. The worst part of it all comes when you see that it never stood a chance.
As time goes on, the fresh open wounds of heartbreak begin to heal. You will become friends with your person and be grateful that they are still in your life. The scars are still there, but you have learned from them. The ending of an almost relationship is in some ways worse than the real things because there are endless whats ifs. What if things had worked out? What if they were the one? While the what ifs can haunt you, its better to focus on the present. Pick yourself up, brush off the hurt and anger, and move on with dignity. Grieve, but only until you have learned and understood that it's not over for you. You still have a life to live and lingering on an almost relationship is keeping you from doing just that.
