As a new year is fast approaching, that means a new class of freshmen is on their way to the bars. Over my college career, I have learned no matter how hard they try to blend in, it is inevitable. Through extensive research (at the bars), I have learned a few of the red flags when it comes to spotting freshmen.
1. Wearing the orientation t-shirt
My favorite part about every summer/fall semester is that the freshmen wear the orientation t-shirt around campus, and even the bars. Sorry, but we all know you're underage and you should leave.
2. Googling directions to a bar down the street
This actually happened last year. I saw a group of girls google directions to a bar literally down the street they were on.
3. Don't understand how tabs work
Nothing is more frustrating than kids that don't know common bar facts. Yes, there is a credit card minimum, so start a tab or get out of my way.
4. Don't know the price of drinks
If you frequent a certain bar, you learn the prices of the drinks you order. Freshmen have no idea how much things cost and always start scrambling through their $1 bills.
5. Go out in groups wearing the same outfit
Going out with a huge group is a major red flag, but what makes it worse is when they all wear the same outfit. I saw a group of 10 girls all wearing the same thing and nearly died from laughing so hard.
6. Walk in saying "IT WORKED!!!"
Yes, we all know your fake ID worked. People like you are the reason this bar is still open.
7. Vigorously washing X's off their hands
Some freshmen aren't smart enough to get a fake before college starts. But nothing is more entertaining than watching the poor girls in the bathroom trying to scrape the sharpie off their hands.
8. Look like a deer in headlights
One of my personal favorites is watching naive freshman walk into the bar when drink specials are over, all the veterans of the bars are trashed, and they look like they just saw a ghost. We like to have fun for cheap, and you will, too.
9. They hit on the creepy guy everyone avoids
Every bar has that one older guy that hits on all the freshmen. Older girls know to stay away, but those poor girls have no idea what they're getting themselves into.
10. Lanyards
No one past 17 has a lanyard anymore, but if they do, it's not around their necks. Get a keychain like the rest of us.
11. Don't tip
Yes, college kids are poor, but we aren't terrible people. Not tipping is not an option. Bartenders work hard, and you better tip them.
May the odds be ever in your favor.
