11 Things I'm Tired Of Hearing About Being Polyamorous

I get it. You don't understand why I am polyamorous. You've asked the questions, but obviously the snide comments are still going to come. You start assuming things and saying things to change my mind. It is not going to work. Maybe you are right in some of your opinions, but for the most part you aren't. Maybe try to be more understanding than close minded.

1. You'll grow out of it.

That's not how this works. This is my choice for my life. I am choosing to be non-monogamous. I want to have multiple partners because I want to. I don't believe my love is contained to just one person. I believe society has that wrong. But I'm not forcing my beliefs on anyone like you seem to be.

2. You must be in it for the sex.

Wrong again. Sex isn't really the top priority in my life or relationships. It's nice, but not a necessity all the time. And when sex is there, it's great, but it is definitely not the a reason I am poly.

3. (S)he is too old for you.

You do not have the right to judge any of my relationships. Go sit in a corner and think about what you have just done. You are judging me again based on, yet again, society's standards, which are not always right. And they do not matter. Am I a consenting adult? Yes. Am I happy? Yes. Leave me alone.

4. You must get jealous a lot.

I mean yeah, sometimes, but I work through it. See, in monogamy you just say you are and you assume your partner is going to stop what they are doing. That doesn't work when you are poly. I work through my jealousy. Identify the cause and talk to my partners about it if I need help.

5. They are just with you to rekindle their marriage.

A majority of the time couple's will swing to rekindle things. Swinging is not being poly. And yes, sometimes couples do this, but if I get involved in that type of couple's privilege, then part of that is on me. I am not watching out for that like I should be.

6. You don't really love everyone you are with.

Here you go again, forcing your beliefs on me. And is this your business? No. I might allow you to ask me questions, but don't go around making assumptions. If I say I love someone, then I do.

7. You really can't bring/raise a kid in that situation.

What's it matter you if I am? I would make sure my child has a happy and healthy life. If I didn't, I'm sure someone would step in and tell me so, but at this moment none of that pertains to you. So mind your own business.

8. You're not really his stepmom because you aren't marrying the dad.

Now you are grasping at straws. You want to try and hurt me and make me mad because if this is really your belief. You are so closed minded and I don't want to be around you. How dare you! You have no right to say any of that. You are not in the house or around us to know what I am to him. So please just go away.

9. I don't understand how you don't want to be the center of attention.

I like being alone. I don't require to be the center of someone's attention all the time. I like having space and I like being able to do whatever I want. Technically I could always be the center of someone's attention because I am polyamorous, but I don't want to be.

10. You are never going to be married.

Please tell me more about me and my life because you obviously know so much more about me than I know about myself. I might get married, I might not. It doesn't matter right now. I'm still going about my life and figuring some things out. I can be married and polyamorous. That's my decision to make, though.

11. I couldn't do it.

Trust me. I know. The way you talk makes me know that you would never be open to it. Maybe if you could be a little more open to the people around you, you might learn something that helps you out in being monogamous, or at least don't be so judgmental.