I have worked at a total of four Jimmy John's locations. Four. That's four too many. My fiancé and I think that there may have been a fifth one squeezed in there at some point, but they all blend together. Each day I wake up scared that I am still employed by the company, thinking "No! Not again! Don't make me!" Then I sigh a deep sigh of relief that I no longer have to be considered a "meat puller." Not all of it was bad, but most of it was smelly.

Here are 11 thoughts I had working at Jimmy John's.

1. "Will anyone else show up today?"

This one is probably fitting for most (if not all) jobs, but let me just say that I have had to make hundreds of sandwiches, each under 30 seconds, by myself. By the end of the shift, I contemplated never showing up again.

2. "How can I avoid cleaning?"

Cleaning is necessary, especially in restaurant jobs. But a literal cleaning chore that is on the weekly cleaning list was scrubbing the floors with a toothbrush.

3. "It's avocado spread. Not guacamole. I hate you."

But, I mean, for real.

4. "Do you think anyone will notice if I don't rotate the chips?"

Someone always does.

5. "Will they notice if I put someone else's initials by the after lunch chores?"

No one ever does.

6. "How deep would I have to cut my hand for them to let me go home?"

Deep enough to get three stitches and some tendon showing, but you'll still have to open the next day.

7. "How long can I get away with not tucking in my shirt?"

Sometimes the whole shift, sometimes 40 seconds.

8. "No. We don't serve salads. Or soups. Or meatball subs. I hate you again."

Our shirts literally had "x's" over the words "soup" and "salad." And we only serve cold sandwiches...cold,ike our hearts.

9. "How can I steal the 'No Hippies Allowed' sign without getting caught?"

I have never found the answer, but according to those who have gotten away with it, it isn't that hard: casually get a screwdriver, casually get up on a booth and casually remove the sign. Stay cool when the manager follows up about it two weeks later.

10. "I'll never meet the love of my life wearing this apron."

A lot of marriages have happened due to relationships starting at a Jimmy John's. Aprons are apparently a good look.

11. "Is getting fired really that bad?"

Yes. They hire you back.