For two and a half years, I have worked as a barista. It was my first job, and it's been really good to me. I've really loved serving people their daily brew and free coffee is a wonderful job perk, but I'm ready to hang up my apron and trade it for a job more closely related to my planned career field. While I will probably finish the summer of working at a coffee shop, I feel like it's my duty to my coworkers and fellow baristas to give you, our customers, some wise words.
1. We are completely immune to espresso.
Throughout one shift at a coffee shop, so many shots are poured that go unused. Of course we take advantage of that. However, over time we build up a tolerance. This is why we never find people waltzing in at 5 a.m. saying, "It's a good thing you work in a coffee shop," funny. Ever.
2. A caramel macchiato isn't what you think it is.
Starbucks has been lying to you all these years. Because of them, I have to explain that a macchiato is merely espresso with a hint of milk and foam every time someone orders one just in case. And don't even get me started on talls, grandes, and ventis. Needless to say, Starbucks is the bane of every barista's existence.
3. Yes, ordering while on your phone is rude.
If you absolutely have to be on the call, step out of line or let the person behind you ahead. And if you hold your finger up at me and say, "Just one second," watch out.
4. No, we probably don't remember your order.
You may be a regular, so much so that you come in at least once daily, but you aren't the only one. Yes, everyone has that one special customer whose order is always in the back of their mind, but there's a good chance it isn't you. Sorry.
5. Bringing your dog through the drive-thru scores you brownie points.
This may be more of a personal one, but each one of my favorite customers is one that comes through with their dog. There's a really good chance I will know your dog's name long before I know yours.
6. Kindness makes up for your dumb drink.
Seriously. You could order a bone dry cappuccino with half almond milk, half skim, two and a half pumps of hazelnut, and a scoop of salt, and as long as you make some sort of pleasant conversation, I won't bat an eye.
7. There is a right way and a wrong way to order your drink.
There are few things more annoying than someone who gives us every detail of their drink before telling us what the actual drink is. More often than not, the first button we have to press on the register is the base of your drink, and by the time you tell us you want a latte, we will have forgotten every customization you told us,
8. We control almost nothing.
If I had a dollar for every time someone complained to me about a price change, a long line, the songs we are playing, or the comfort level of our chairs, I would be a very rich woman. None of these things are actually under my control, so your complaints will fall upon deaf ears.
9. Staring at us while we make your drink doesn't help.
In fact, it probably makes us more likely to mess up. Working bar during a rush is nerve-wracking enough without you breathing down our necks ready to pounce on the slightest mistake.
10. If you give us free reign, we will love you.
Seriously, when customers tell me they have no clue what they want and give me the power to decide, I love it. It gives me a chance to experiment, and it allows me to thrust my favorite creations upon unsuspecting customers.
11. We are sorry about promotions and upselling. Really.
I know I've already asked you to buy beans twice this week. I really wish I didn't have to, but apparently awkward sales pitches are part of the job.
