You always hear that life is short, so live it to the fullest, but you never really notice how quickly time goes until it is already gone. I see this every day when I go to work as a personal care assistant (PCA), assisting the elderly with their daily needs. Working with the elderly provides a personal human interaction that you do not really get elsewhere. They give you advice that you do not even know you need and show you how someday you do (or do not) want to live life. I have learned more in the last few weeks about life from stories from my clients than I have in my entire nineteen years of living.
1. If you are nice to others, they will be nice to you.
And on the other hand, if you are not nice to people, you will get what you deserve. I am always being told by my client’s wife that I am a pleasure. You can see it on her face that she is so happy to see me every time I go to her house. At first it did not start this way though. When I was a stranger she was very strict and demanding, proving that I had to work to gain her acceptance. Eventually we warmed up to each other and now we talk like best friends. You get what you deserve. Treat others how you want to be treated, and it will happen.
2. Life will teach you to develop a sick sense of humor.
By the time you are considered a senior citizen you have seen a lot of life. You have seen the good in the world and the bad in the world. You have seen war. You have seen death. You have seen your loved ones pass. You’ve seen tragedies, too many in fact. Humor is a coping method that many people use to process everything that happens. Jokes that seem harsh to me are something that the elderly are desensitized to. But they have to be after everything they have seen in this world.
3. Choose people who make you happy and hold those ones dear.
The first day I went to this elderly couple’s house I was helping the man get out of bed when his wife came in and he said to her “come here” and pulled her head close to him as if telling her a secret. Then he moved his face to kiss her cheek and I nearly melted. This man I have learned is so much work for her to take care of but she does not want him to have to leave the house and be put somewhere else. She told me that she is tired and worn out but she never wants to lose her best friend.
4. Your family should always, always come first.
Family is the only thing that you will have forever. A woman I took care of has not spoken to her daughter since a few years after she had her child. Her grandchild is now nearly twenty. She does not know him, what he likes, what he is doing. I find that horrible. She may live her life without ever knowing her grandson. Family is worth an apology, even if it is way past due.
5. Laugh every chance you get.
Laughter really is the best medicine. Even if it is just a temporary fix. I take care of a woman that lives alone who will only watch funny movies because she says it makes her feel happier and less lonely. Which science can back up.
6. Sometimes you need to take it upon yourself so that things actually get done.
Yell at people when you need to if they wronged you. Plan things if you want them to get done. Without taking things upon yourself and being adamant, nothing will happen.
7. Start saving now.
I always see the elderly having something go wrong with their house that they have to get fixed or not being able to pay a bill. Even though the elderly gets a lot of discounts and have their retirement fund, eventually life gets harder to pay for. Life is expensive. Doctors visits are expensive, and start to become more frequent. Save up not because though the elderly gets a lot of help, it still is not enough.
8. Go out and dance.
I was once asked if my boyfriend brings me dancing. I said no and that young kids really don’t do that anymore. She said it was a shame because that is how this woman had met her husband. But she made me think maybe going out to dance is fun, or even more a metaphor for going out and having a good time, making a fool of yourself and enjoying every second of it.
9. No one gets out alive.
Older people are constantly talking about how so and so died or is dying. It just makes you realize how quickly life goes by and how you need to show the people that you love that you love them because you never know when they’re taking their last breath.
10. You will know in your gut when it is meant to be.
My favorite is hearing stories about how husbands and wives met and fell in love. This one woman I take care of told me about how she had met her husband one night when her friend convinced her to go out. They went dancing and this timid young man came up to her and asked to dance with her. He then asked her on a second date and there he said to her, “I am going to marry you”. She said no way, but here they are still in love today.
But if anything I have learned that someday you’re going to be too old to do the things you want to or love to do. You physically will not be able to run around all day and be with your friends and enjoy the outdoors. Take advantage of that now and live while you still can because our time is so short.
