“Baby Face” is a term for someone with some sort of physical feature, oftentimes their face, which makes them look incredibly young. They are the people who you think are 13 but are actually well into their college career. They are the people who still get carded well into their twenties, sometimes thirties. And it seems, as fate would have it, I am one of those people.
With each additional candle that is added to my birthday cake, another year is taken off of the age people take me for. I’ve gotten 12, 13, 16, 14, all within the last three months. Am I becoming Benjamin Button, and will only become more infantile by the day? Can student loans still affect me if I regress back into a toddler?
Though having a baby face isn’t the end of the world, it comes with its rather bothersome caveats. Grab a snack and let’s delve right on into the problems of people who look perpetually young.
1. People will card you. A lot.
Going to see an R-rated movie? Carded. Alcohol (if you’re legally able to drink)? Carded. Your young face next to a birth date that perfectly qualifies you to be there always seems to stump people.
2. “Oh, honey, what grade are you in? Have you thought about colleges yet?”
Please... Will these questions ever stop?
3. People always asking if you’re here with your parents.
“Have you lost your mother? Do you want me to call for her on the speakers for you?”
4. Having the face of a fourteen-year-old means actually having the face of a fourteen-year-old. Acne and all.
Pizza face is real. So, so real.
5. “Aren’t you a little young to be driving?”
I once had a woman working at Costco stop me in my tracks as I was bringing groceries to my mom’s car and ask me, “Wait, how did you get here? You are way too young to drive!” Granted, I can’t drive, but still.
6. Whoever you date runs the risk of looking a bit too mature for you.
Don’t worry guys, we are both legal and consenting adults. It’s fine, really.
7. In fact, dating in general.
How can you flirt with a guy when, at first glance, he assumes you must be someone’s little sister?
8. Getting judged for dressing your age.
Crop tops? Tight black dresses? Makeup? Who is this kid trying to fool? (And it's even worse when you have piercings or tattoos.)
9. Girls Night Out?
You end up looking like the high school freshman who begged her older sister to let her tag along.
10. No one believes you when you do say your real age.
The amount of times that, after telling someone my age, people have actually been rendered into a state of shock. “Really, are you sure?” Actually, no! No, you’re right! I’m actually not sure how long I’ve been alive on this Earth at all, probably should go check my birth certificate out, huh?
11. No one takes you seriously.
Aww, how cute! You’re so silly.
But hey, at the end of the day, it’s all good. Why? Just relish in the thought that we’ll be getting carded until we’re 40 and probably won’t have to worry about wrinkles for a while. Besides, age doesn’t matter— you’ll still look pretty damn good.
