First things first, just because you're an introvert doesn't mean you're listening to everyone's conversations and plotting their deaths. You'd be surprised how many people have asked me if that's what us introverts do. Secondly, some people think the whole quiet and mysterious look is bada**. Well guess what? It goes a lot deeper than what our physical features portray. Being an introvert is hard work and at most times, something we all wish we could escape.
1. You're The "Quiet" One
Almost every conversation begins with, "Are you OK?" or "Why are you being so quiet?" Let me tell you, it is annoying. Please stop with these questions. We are allowed to be quiet. We are allowed to not say anything. We are allowed to be silent without anything being wrong. It's just how we are most comfortable. I can promise you, most introverts are not that quiet once you get to know us and we open up. It just takes time.
2. Icebreaker Activities
You know the game "Where does the wind blow?" Someone will say, "The wind blows for those who like dogs," and everyone who likes dogs has to move to a different spot. Well if you're stuck without a spot you get to stand in the middle, all eyes on you, and state the next icebreaker. This is terrifying. Being the center of attention is something introverts cringe at the thought of...being put in the actual situation, we freeze, turn red in the face, even jumble up our words. Icebreaker activities are a no-no for introverts, we prefer to get to know people in our own way; not being forced to be the focal point.
3. Never Raising Your Hand In Class
Participation? You can bet introverts get a low grade in that aspect of classes, the only reason we get some points is because we show up. Have a question? Of course we don't raise our hands and ask. That would involve speaking...in public. Knowing the answer to a question? Forget about it. We're too afraid of being wrong even if we know our answer is 100 percent correct.
4. You Feel Invisible
Between not being invited to things, not being talked to during class and the last one picked when it comes to dodgeball...we feel like we don't exist a lot of the time. Acknowledge us. We might be quiet but we want to be a part of the inside jokes. We want to be picked to be on your team. We want to be friends. Don't leave us in the back of the room, we hate feeling unseen.
5. Not Being Invited To Do Things
Sure we may be quiet, we might not seem very friendly. Plus our closed off personality makes it seem as if we never want to associate with other people. But you are wrong. We do want friends, we do want to be a part of things. It just takes some time for us to take the leap of faith. You have to ask us to hang out, or invite us to do something because we are too frightened to do so ourselves. But that certainly does not mean we aren't interested. So Invite us!
6. You Tend To Be Glued To Your Phone In Public
If you see us on our phones constantly, it doesn't mean we are hooked to them. It doesn't mean we have nothing better to do then scroll through Twitter and like pictures on Instagram. Most of the time we are pretending to text someone so we don't have to interact with what's going on around us. If you knew what was going on in our minds you'd know that being out in public is frightening sometimes, especially if you're alone because you think people are going to judge you. Therefore, we confide in our phone that way we don't have to come out of our shell.
7. You Hate Talking On The Phone
Talking on the phone is a nightmare. We panic, we freeze, our words get jumbled. Don't take it the wrong way, it isn't you. We just don't know how to stay calm and take a step out of our comfort zone in order to talk without freaking out. I'm sure you're a nice person and very sweet. We're just scared of humiliating ourselves.
8. You're Scared To Order Food Or Buy Something For That Matter
This is just like talking on the phone. Having face-to-face interaction is scary sometimes. We go out to eat but when the waitress ask what we want, even if we know by heart, we still check the menu and read it off that. We don't want to embarrass ourselves and mess up our words. You can guarantee if the order comes out wrong we won't say anything, we will suffer through it. Shopping is the same way, jumbling through your stuff trying to find the correct amount of money and nervously handing it to them without dropping any. Then taking your receipt and leaving the lane as fast as you can.
9. Enjoying Being Alone Or Anti-Social?
Introverts need their alone time. Some people find this as us being anti-social. But the truth is we need time to regenerate to get back to being comfortable in our own skin. We like to have time to do things on our own or just lay in bed thinking. It's our comfort zone, not us being anti-social so please stop labeling us as that.
10. Being Pressured To Be More Social
This goes along with being anti-social or enjoying being alone. We have to work to being comfortable with other people, it doesn't come as easy to us as it does with extroverts. Don't throw new people onto us, we need time to adjust to them being around. We won't be buddy-buddy with them in the first two minutes we meet them. We have to get to know them at our own pace. Please, please never introduce a lot of people to us at once. It will drive us away, too many people makes us nervous. One person at a time.
11. Thoughtful Look Or Resting B*tch Face?
I've heard this one a lot. People automatically think we're snobby or just hate everyone because of the look on our face. I promise you, a lot of the times we don't even know our faces look that way. We think we have a sincere look on our face while you think we're planning how to ruin your life. This is not the case, introduce yourself, talk to us, we aren't going to bite. But we sure aren't going to take the first step, we'll just watch everything that's going on around us. If it looks like we hate you, chances are we're thinking, "I want to be friends with them."
Keep in mind, if you're ever friends with an introvert. Take care of them, don't force them to do things and don't make fun of them for how quiet they are. They want to do all the things you're doing, they just need more time and support. Being an introvert is hard, but feeling judged among that, is even harder. Be kind to introverts.
