I am not my anxiety, but it is still a part of who I am. Often, the people around me have no idea what I'm going through, and they sometimes tend to say things that are insensitive. It's not their fault they can't understand something they haven't experienced themselves. So here is a list compiled of all the phrases you should probably avoid telling your anxious friend.

1. "It’s all in your head."

I’m fully aware that it is all in my head. That’s why severe anxiety is considered a serious mental disorder. It may seem ridiculous to you, but it is very real for me.

2. "It’s a made-up illness."

I wish it were true. Of course, I understand that people who don’t experience anxiety cannot comprehend what it is like, but still, it’s better just to admit that you have no idea what it is like instead of claiming that it does not exist.

3. "Everyone has anxiety, though."

Yes, everyone experiences jitters when they’re talking to a cute guy, or about to give a presentation in class, but it is not the same thing as having an actual anxiety disorder. People with anxiety disorders can have an overwhelming anxious feeling about nothing, or everything. I often go long periods of time with this deep-seated anxiety that I can’t shake. There’s absolutely nothing happening in my life that I need to feel anxious about, I just feel it. I often just shut down because I just feel incredibly uncomfortable. There’s also times when I start feeling anxious about stupid things like going to work, or class, or just hanging out with my friends because I have this doomsday feeling like something bad is going to happen.

4. “Calm down.”

Calm down? This is probably the worst thing you can tell someone with anxiety. Oh, how I wish I could just calm down and enjoy life like a normal person. A common symptom of anxiety is overthinking. I can’t help it. I am constantly analyzing things in my head. I cannot turn my brain off. In fact, it usually focuses on worst-case apocalyptic-level scenarios. And when something bad actually happens? I'm likely to have a panic attack. It can be exhausting.

5. “Just go to sleep.”

Anxiety won’t let me go to sleep. It’ll whisper in my ear all the things I forgot to do that day and everything that I have to do by tomorrow, and by the rest of the week, and by the end of the year...

6. “Don’t worry.”

When there is peace on Earth, no school, and no work to do, I will stop worrying. Until then, ISIS could snipe me on my way to class.

7. “Don’t be so shy.”

Insecurity is usually a run-off from anxiety. It’s not easy to be secure with yourself when you’re always worried about what people think of you and if you are going to say the wrong thing. Also, sometimes we feel like nothing we have to say is important and people probably won’t care. If you have a friend that suffers from anxiety, make sure you remember to invite them to things. If they feel left out, they could become more insecure and defensive because they don’t think they are important to you. Sometimes, we just need to be alone, but do not give up on us when we isolate ourselves.

8. “Smile.”

How am I supposed to smile when all I can think about is the fact that I have three tests this week, an essay to write, an article, I have to work this weekend, and I left my raincoat at home?! This week, I could fail, lose my scholarship, lose my job(s), and get soaking wet on the way to accept my

F grade. All you will have accomplished by saying this is making me feel like I'm the unhappiest person in the world.

9. "Be still."

Moving around or performing weird habits like picking at your hair and skin or biting your nails is generally a coping mechanism for people with anxiety, whether they realize it or not. Also, we usually enjoy staying busy. Staying active helps us to focus on practical things and makes us feel like we have a purpose.

10. "Just focus."

Typically, people with anxiety also have some severity of ADD or ADHD. They can’t control what thoughts pop in their head at any given time so it can be extremely difficult for them to focus on one task or one idea. It can be incredibly frustrating when there are so many things you know you need to get done, but just cannot sit down and do it. Telling them to “just focus” will only add to their frustration.

11. "Why do you have to be so sensitive?"

I probably wouldn't be considered extremely sensitive, but I do have triggers when someone plays on my insecurities. Everyone with anxiety is different, but nearly everyone I know has something about their appearance they don't like. There is no need to acknowledge something is physically not perfect about us. We are an acutely self-aware breed. We know. If you pull on one of my triggers, I will get angry. And you will not like me when I'm angry.

Having anxiety -- having these debilitating thoughts and habits all the time -- is not a choice. If you have a friend with anxiety, please be considerate. Be encouraging. Do not tell them they are being whiny or annoying; that will only make them feel bad. Just be their friend and make sure to let them know you care about them, that's all they really need from you!

Over time, I have learned several coping mechanisms to deal with my anxiety. I’ll go to the gym, paint, keep busy with physical activities, and take long showers before I go to bed to think through everything, but the most helpful thing I’ve learned is to pray. It takes a lot of weight off my shoulders to take my worries and give them to God.

Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7.