We all learn about the Greek gods in our high school history classes, but do we really pay attention to them? Sure, you know that Zeus is the king of the gods, that Aphrodite is the love goddess, and Poseidon controls the seas, but did you memorize the rest of the Pantheon? Could you answer a Jeopardy question on them? Maybe it'll be helpful to picture them as college students, just like us.
1. Zeus: The King of the Gods, the Creator and the Destroyer. Zeus was THE god to beat in ancient Greek times, and what better role for him to fill than that of the busy college student? This is the guy who fills up his schedule with 18 credits, is juggling an internship with a part time job, is filing paperwork for professors in his spare time, and oh yeah, he's the student body president, all while managing to be super friendly and never grumpy. We all know the type. How can he get so much done in so little time?
2. Poseidon: Every school has this type of guy, no matter how far east you are. That one guy who always has that beachy, California vibe to him, uses weird slang and seems to move in slow motion compared to normal human pace. Poseidon rules the seas, so I imagine him to always smell like salt water, sun bleached hair, and an awesome tan. Cowabunga, dude!
3. Hades and Persephone: As we all know from the Disney movie "Hercules", Hades is the hilarious ruler of the underworld, and Persephone is his wife, stolen from the luscious fields of Mount Etna. They're the couple that wears all black, hates everyone but each other, and loves to judge other people as they walk by. Basically, they're the couple that everyone wants to be.
4. Hera: The wife of Zeus, who is famously known as being the jealous, scorned woman who's always being cheated on behind her back. Instead of being mad at Zeus, she takes out her anger on the women that Zeus cheat with, always plotting revenge. Hera is the college girl who's always starting drama with her ex's new girlfriend, always in Facebook arguments, clapping back on Twitter, and subbing you on Instagram. If you upset this girl, watch your back.
5. Athena: Born from the head of Zeus, Athena is the goddess of knowledge, wisdom and craft. You can find her living in the library, buried in books, always smelling like coffee, and having the darkest of dark circles under her eyes. She's the most dedicated of all college students, and if you take her cubicle during finals week, you're sure to get a hot chai latte thrown in your face.
6. Aphrodite: Everyyyyyyone on campus knows who Aphrodite is. She's the girl who's at every party, seemingly in every photo. She's hooked up with every guy, she's the girl we all aspire to be when we go through our wild and crazy college phase. She's super confident in her own skin, wears the best clothes, and is insanely popular, don't you have to be as the goddess of love?
7. Dionysus: The Athenian based god of revelry, wine production, theater, and partying, Dionysus is the bomb. He's the male equivalent of Aphrodite, the guy everyone wants to be friends with. He's the frat president that throws the best parties, the guy every girl wants, he borders on f**kboy, but he's way too cool for that. The ultimate cool college guy is the epitome of Dionysus.
8. Artemis: She's the down home, true to her roots, camo wearing country girl. No matter where your college is, there's always that one girl who wears her Buckwild sweatshirt every day during the fall, wears cowboy boots during the summer, and has those bright orange hunting gloves proudly on display during the first snowstorm. Artemis was the hunter goddess, and the goddess of wild animals and nature. She always had her bow and arrow handy, and hunter girls never miss the chance to shoot something with their daddy and brothers during the first few weeks of fall.
9. Demeter: Etymologically, Demeter literally means "Mother Earth", so I imagine Demeter as that mom-type friend we all have that we run to for advice. When mom isn't picking up the phone, we all go to her for help with boy troubles, friend drama, and to be told that our lives won't end by getting one failing grade.
10. Ares: The god of war and the aftermath of war, Ares is the guy you want to call on when you need some brawn in your life. Imagine the typical gym bro: huge muscles, always carrying a blender bottle, wearing tanktops with arm holes way too big, and a swaggering walk that only hours in the gym can give you. It must feel damn good to have a body like... well, a god.
11. Hephaestus: Last, but certainly not least, is the smith god, Hephaestus. He was the god that designed and crafted a lot of the weapons wielded by the demi-gods in Greek mythology. As a result, I deem Hephaestus as that engineering student who lives in the workshop 24/7, surrounded by all kinds of fancy tools, hoping to design the next big engineering breakthrough that makes everyone's lives easier.
