11 Drunk Thoughts

11 Drunk Thoughts

Writing while hungover: a collection of the previous night's drunk thoughts.

I really tried to buckle down and write an article this week that was thought provoking and currently relevant to the world; I truly did. However, both a particularly tiresome work week and my building procrastination have left me in frustratingly real writer’s block scenario. I came to a Friday night with the task of creating this week’s piece. I wanted to be that person that turns down hang out sessions to bang on my craft with hardcore dedication. You know, the type of thing that intensely passionate narrators found in “video that will motivate me” YouTube searches advise. Usually a dude is yelling behind various scenes of athletes working out and telling you that all excuses are always irrelevant, and “the path to success is a lonely one”.

In the wake of my Saturday morning hangover, I am here to tell you I didn’t do any of that. I succumbed to the pressures of having fun on a Friday night and I let a night of drinking beer and smoking around good people let it happen. So, there was no research of current events in sight. However, I have an obnoxiously present train of thought that bends in weird ways during times of inebriation. Here is a list of 11 things that I thought of last night when entering that perfect drunk zone. Why 11? I was originally going to write 20, but going back to sleep is very important to me. Also, I wanted to seem like I overachieved a list of ten.

1. I don’t think Betsy Ross (or whoever actually made the U.S. flag) was all that great. The flag could be way cooler. Seriously, where were all the artists at during establishing the nations’ branding? I think the flag hype is a case of groupthink. The jig is up Betsy.

2. I wonder if my dog is sick of answering “what” he is to people. What about asking who he is? “What is your dog” is a strange question. Next time I’ll just say he is Remy and he is beautiful.

3. I want to watch Pink Floyd’s “The Wall” in its entirety right this second. (I suggest to watch a clip, and they switch it after one section) Damn it. I’ll try again in 30 minutes.

4. The Domino’s pizza guy looked sad. I know how it feels to work nights; it sucks. I wonder if he is still at work. I hope he gets home safe on his bike. It’s late and he has a bunch of cash on him. If I were a person that robbed people I would probably rob him.

5. The tapestry on my wall is so inviting and intricate, I love it. I wonder who made it. I bet their mind is crazy and they are probably good at math. Unless a computer made it, then fuck this tapestry. Wait a second, a human made that program so, alright. Wait another second, when did I get all “team human”.

6. What if I did a handstand right now while they are talking. Ready Daniele, do it. Okay, one...two...ah whatever, I can’t do a handstand; who am I kidding. I can do a kart wheel though (I shift from one chair to another). That’s good enough.

7. I look intently at everyone’s eyebrows.

8. I hope my late grandmother isn’t mad that I use the butterfly box she gave me to hide 420 things.

9. I remember a time where I saw a bird murder another bird by pecking out its brains. I wonder the motive.

10. I really get the housewife thing now, like... I just get it.

11. What if this floor just fell through? Our downstairs neighbor would freak out. What if our floor just flew up to the 3rd? Our upstairs neighbor would be even more freaked out.

There are 11 of my drunk thoughts. As I write them down, I am a little concerned about my thought process, but I am more concerned about my headache. I am going to drink all the water now. Until next week, good night.

Cover Image Credit: philly.thedrinknation.

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A Letter To My Go-To Aunt

Happiness is having the best aunt in the world.

I know I don't say it enough, so let me start off by saying thank you.

You'll never understand how incredibly blessed I am to have you in my life. You'll also never understand how special you are to me and how much I love you.

I can't thank you enough for countless days and nights at your house venting, and never being too busy when I need you. Thank you for the shopping days and always helping me find the best deals on the cutest clothes. For all the appointments I didn't want to go to by myself. Thank you for making two prom days and a graduation party days I could never forget. Thank you for being overprotective when it comes to the men in my life.

Most importantly, thank you for being my support system throughout the numerous highs and lows my life has brought me. Thank you for being honest even when it isn't what I want to hear. Thank you for always keeping my feet on the ground and keeping me sane when I feel like freaking out. Thank you for always supporting whatever dream I choose to chase that day. Thank you for being a second mom. Thank you for bringing me into your family and treating me like one of your own, for making me feel special because you do not have an obligation to spend time with me.

You've been my hero and role model from the time you came into my life. You don't know how to say no when family comes to you for help. You're understanding, kind, fun, full of life and you have the biggest heart. However, you're honest and strong and sometimes a little intimidating. No matter what will always have a special place in my heart.

There is no possible way to ever thank you for every thing you have done for me and will continue to do for me. Thank you for being you.

Cover Image Credit: Pixabay

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Abortion Bans Are Only A Small Part Of The Republican War On Women

These bans expose the Republican Party for what it truly is.


This week, several states passed laws that ban abortion after six to eight weeks of pregnancy, before most women even know that they're pregnant. The most egregious of these is Alabama — the state has banned abortion except for in cases of danger to the mother. Exceptions in the cases of rape and incest were actively voted against by the state legislature. Under the new law, any doctor who is caught giving an abortion would be sentenced to 99 years in prison, and the woman would be charged with murder.

Apart from the fact that this explicitly violates the decision of Roe v. Wade (which is the point), this is only a small part of the slow but steady degradation of women's rights by Republicans in the United States. To anyone who believes that this is simply about people being "pro-life" or "saving the children," then tell them to look at what happens after the fetus is carried to term.

Republicans oppose forcing fathers to be involved in the lives of their children that were forcibly carried to term, desires to cut food stamps and make it more difficult to feed said child, cut funding for affordable housing to make it more difficult for them to find homes, cut spending to public education so these children can't move up the social ladder, and refuse to offer the woman or her child health insurance to keep them both healthy. What about efforts to prevent pregnancy? Republicans also oppose funding birth control and contraception, as well as opposing comprehensive sexual education. To them, the only feasible solution is to simply keep your legs shut. They oppose all of these things because it is, in their eyes, a violation of individual rights to force people to do something. The bill also makes women who get abortions felons, and felons can't vote. I'll let you finish putting those two together.

If you view it from this framework, it would seem like Republicans are being extremely hypocritical by violating the personal freedoms of pregnant women, but if you look at it from the view of restricting social mobility for women, then it makes perfect sense. The Republican dogma of "individual rights" and "personal responsibility" is a socially acceptable facade that they use to cover up their true intentions of protecting the status quo and protect those in power. About any Republican policy, ask yourself: does this disperse power or consolidate it? Whether it be education, healthcare, the environment, or the economy, Republicans love to keep power away from the average citizen and give it to the small number of people that they deem "deserving" of it because of their race, gender, wealth, or power. This is the case with abortion as well; Power is being taken from women, and being given back to men in a reversal of the Feminist Movement of the 1970s.

Republicans don't believe in systemic issues. They believe that everyone has the same opportunity to succeed regardless of what point they started. This is why they love capitalism so much. It acts as some sort of great filter in which only those who deserve power can make it to the top. It's also why they hate social policies; they think that helping people who can't help themselves changes the hierarchy in a negative way by giving people who don't "deserve" power, power. Of course, we know that just because you have money and power doesn't mean you earned it fair and square, and even if Republicans believe it, it wouldn't change anything because it wouldn't change how they want to distribute power.

In short, Republican policies, including abortion, leave the average American with less money, less protection, less education, worse health, less opportunity, fewer rights, and less freedom. This is NOT a side effect. This is the point. Regardless of what Republicans will tell you about "inalienable rights" and how everyone is equal, in reality, they believe that some people and groups are more deserving of rights than others, and the group that deserves rights the most are the ones "that will do the best with them." To Republicans, this group consists of the wealthy, the powerful, and the white — the mega-rich, the CEOs of large companies, gun owners and Christians.

So, who do Republicans think deserve power and give it to? People who look and think like them. This, however, begs the question: Who do they want to take it from?

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