I'm tired of people watching "The Parent Trap." It puts a stigma on twins that they have to be cute, plucky clones of each other that finish each other's sentences and do each other's chemistry tests when the other forgot to study. As a true cavalier for the millennial generation, it offends me, and I'll be watching some other movie than "The Parent Trap" in the corner. I'll keep my safe space open long enough for someone to get me a pint of Chunky Monkey ice cream.
Here are 11 things that the twin to an opposite gender can relate to.
1. No, we're not dating.
Granted, my twin sister is eight inches shorter than I am, has a different eye color than me, and people tell us that we look like different races when I tan in the summer. But when I'm 12 and just want to go on the Himalaya ride they have at the boardwalk, I don't feel like having some hipster 20-something year old come up to us and coo that we were "so cute together on that ride." Thanks, guys. From restaurant servers to literally everyone when we transfer schools, those that cringed that that was the first thing on the list—or, there at all—would be surprised at how often that comes up in an environment where no one knows you guys.
2. No, that doesn't mean we're identical, either.
We're a boy and a girl. We don't have identical reproductive systems. That's a given. If that much is true, how could we be the same in every aspect there is about someone? I can't tell whether the people that ask this are trying to sound smart or trying to make up for the lack thereof, and I'm sorry, but I think most in the same situation and their families can relate to this lack of common sense.
3. Just because we're not dating ourselves doesn't mean we've never talked about dating before.
My sister is my built-in go-to for relationship advice or for questions on how girls work. It's saved me from more than one blunder with that kind of thing and from going to one of those weird horoscope people that you could smell from the webcam and that would tell me the reason my girlfriend is mad at me is because Mercury is in retrograde. Thanks, man: I'd rather skip the psychic in my city if I could and go to the burger joint next door that makes a mean California special.
4. Sometimes out of necessity.
You've never known weird or awkward friendship triangles until you realize one of you or your sibling's friends is only friends with the one to try and get in the other's pants. It's happened multiple times to both of us, probably will more, and will forever be the most awkward thing on this planet.
5. Half and half everything.
People give us one present, and then proceed to complain about the economy they'd have helped more had they bought two. (Cough, cough.)
6. Because we're around each other almost every waking moment of the day, we sort of can read each other's minds.
(Come on, I had to roast her at some point. It's what we live for.)
7. With this comes the ability to get each other out of situations we don't want to be in with relative ease.
Taking "Gotta blast!" from "Jimmy Neutron" into the present with a whole new meaning.
8. People always trying to make you two the same.
You have no idea how much fun teachers, family, friends, and everyone in between has had trying to get us together for longer than we have to be. Say goodbye to picking your partner for a project... And outfits? Just come to our place. There are more baby pictures, along with the cover photo (I'm on the left), in a box somewhere.
9. The thought, "Would that be me as a boy/girl?"
A weird one, but a true one nonetheless. Especially when the other does something dumb. I'm sure my sister has some experience with that.
10. Along with some other more profane thoughts.
Like this.
11. All in all, though, you're going to be there and protect each other, because you were born that way and it's more than likely going to stay that way.
My sister's enriched my perspective on the world infinitely more than otherwise, and there's no real getting around that. I really wouldn't have it any other way, albeit because even on a bad day I couldn't imagine things without her. Don't even pretend you didn't know this would have a cheesy ending. You probably clicked on this because of it.
