Let's face it, we're busy, we're all very busy. We're working, going to school, aiming for that 4.0 and involved in extra curricular activities while trying to squeeze in a nice eight hours of sleep every night. With that being said, adding another person to that list can definitely be difficult, but is it really as difficult as people make it? Relationships take work and time, but people are making it much more difficult on themselves. Let me begin by saying I am certainly no expert on love.
So, why isn't it working?
1. Pride
Is it really that difficult to just admit that you have feelings for someone and admit that you were wrong? Just be honest, if you have feelings for someone, tell them. They aren't going to wait forever. And what's the worst that is going to happen? They won't have the same feelings, but hey, at least you tried! Don't be scared to admit that you are wrong when an argument happens and when you know that you genuinely made a mistake, swallow your pride and simply apologize and move on.
2. Talk about it
If your partner did something that upset you, don't be afraid to tell them—kindly, that is. If an argument happened, talk about it. Don't try to avoid what just happened because it will arise again in about a day or two. If you're in a relationship with someone, you shouldn't have any problem telling them how you feel and what is bothering you.
3. Stop playing games
I'm still beyond confused about this concept. There is nothing else to say but just stop doing it. If you want to play a game that bad, grab Twister from the closet.
4. Stop waiting
Don't wait for him or her to text you first. If you want to text, text them! Don't wait for him or her to ask to hang out. If you want to hang out, ask them! Don't wait for him or her to call if you want to call, call them! There is no point in waiting for the other to initiate what you want, they are your partner and you shouldn't be embarrassed to communicate with them, first.
5. Don't try to change them
Be with someone who compliments you, who makes you happy, who makes you a better person. Don't try to change who they are; you were attracted to them in the first place, and you should want a person for who they are. Hey, if you realize they're not for you, move on let them be with someone who is a better fit for them.
6. Get out of the house
It's easy to get caught up in staying in and watching movies or sitting around the house but it's good to get out. You don't have to go spend $100 to go to dinner! Go on a walk, go window-shopping, anything to get out of the house.
7. Be apart of each other's lives, not each other's lives
Yes, spending time together is important, but spending all of your time together is not key. It is important to have your own identity and be who you are. They are your partner; they are not your life. If you aren't “letting” your partner do something, or they aren't “letting” you do something, that is an issue. You are an adult, and you should be making your own choices. Go out with your friends, have fun and certainly be sure to take time to yourself. Everyone feels as though you can't have fun in a relationship but you can, and you have to make the choice to still continue to do things that make you happy. Don't give up everything for one person.
8. Stop focusing on the past
It may be hard, but don't focus on the past. If it happened before you and you're concerned ask questions, give yourself clarity but ask yourself—is this something I can go on knowing? If something happened in your time together, you need to decide if the relationship is something you can go on with, and if you decide it is and you forgive a person then you need to remember you have no right to hang the mistake/problem/issue over someone’s head. You're now making a choice to be with someone, and that is a choice you need to live with as well.
9. Love takes time
Stop rushing it, and don't give up. Give yourselves time to get to know one another—don't jump into loving each other immediately. You have to get to know someone before you can love them. As for an argument, things are bound to happen—talk about it, don't give up.
10. Love yourself, first
Last, but certainly not least, you must love yourself before you can love someone else. It may be a cliché, but it is the truest cliché that there may be. You cannot love someone if you don’t love yourself.
Let me say again that I am really no expert on love. I’m just speaking from what I know to be true. Love is one of the greatest things in life, when it is working.
