100 Things I Would Rather Do Than Vote for Trump
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Politics and Activism

100 Things I Would Rather Do Than Vote for Trump

Fart myself awake every night.

100 Things I Would Rather Do Than Vote for Trump
Chicago Tribune

About a month ago, another article on The Odyssey went viral, and with good reason, it's hilarious. Brooke Soldo wrote "100 Things I Would Rather Do Than Vote For Hillary," and it is her article that sparked the idea for this one, and for that I would like to thank her. I think the author of that article, and I can respectfully agree to disagree on which presidential candidate we feel "reigns supreme" in terms of how awful they are. For me, Donald J. Trump is honestly the worst person I could ever want to be my president for the 2016 election. I could never let myself vote or even consider voting for a man that divides people, and encourages hate in this beautiful country. Here are 100 things I would rather do than ever vote for Donald Trump:

  1. Pee in an uncleaned porta potty used by a thousand construction workers.
  2. Walk on Legos.
  3. Blindly accept the first online dating request I get.
  4. Drink burnt coffee.
  5. Dive off a cliff into a pit of cobras.
  6. Wake up covered in poisonous spiders.
  7. Live with my parents forever.
  8. Fly on a plane with only one engine, or one wing.
  9. Swim with great white sharks while I’m on my period.
  10. Accidentally send a text about someone to the person I’m talking about.
  11. Listen to “Never Gonna Give You Up” by Rick Astley on a loop for the rest of my life.
  12. Have the hiccups for ten years.
  13. Have the taste of Orange juice and toothpaste in my mouth forever.
  14. Have to make Sophie’s Choice.
  15. Trip and fall into a sewer.
  16. Have all my clothes shrink in the dryer.
  17. Marry Bill O’Reilly.
  18. Go from door to door trying to convert people.
  19. Only eat rotten eggs and bad cheese, and expired milk.
  20. Never be able to use toilet paper again.
  21. Always have to pee.
  22. Accidentally eat wasabi instead of avocados.
  23. Sunburn my butt.
  24. Always be a dollar short.
  25. Have to watch TV where the sound and video never matches up.
  26. Have an arranged marriage.
  27. Sneeze uncontrollably while driving on a busy highway.
  28. Have herpes and crabs at the same time.
  29. Have a permanent brain freeze.
  30. Need to sneeze, but never be able to.
  31. Never have a tampon when I need one.
  32. Swim across an ocean of diarrhea.
  33. Pull out all of my eye lashes.
  34. Be dumped on live television.
  35. Relive the worst day of my life over and over again.
  36. Be covered in hair on every part of my body.
  37. Drink bleach instead of water.
  38. Only get a hour of sleep a night.
  39. Bite off my own fingers.
  40. Brush my teeth with tar.
  41. Jump off a moving train.
  42. Watch the “Hold the door” scene from the Game of Thrones over and over again.
  43. Give up the internet for good.
  44. Get eaten by a zombie.
  45. Step in dog poop while wearing my favorite shoes.
  46. Fall into the fiery pits of hell.
  47. Get hit by a bus.
  48. Get stuck in the middle of the Sahara Dessert without any water.
  49. Put my head in a heated oven.
  50. Let a toddler cut my hair.
  51. Get chased by a hippo.
  52. Go sky diving with a faulty parachute.
  53. Gain 400 lbs overnight.
  54. Get kidnapped by creepy clowns.
  55. Fail out of school.
  56. Be stuck in one place forever.
  57. Get a misspelled tattoo.
  58. Wear plaid and stripes together.
  59. Spend the night in a cemetery.
  60. Work in a slaughter house.
  61. Fry bacon naked.
  62. Get a boob job from a sketchy back-alley doctor.
  63. Wear bright pink mascara.
  64. Go camping alone..
  65. Google pictures of STDs/STIs.
  66. Climb Mount Everest.
  67. Go to Chuck E Cheese.
  68. Eat bull testicles.
  69. Go on Fear Factor.
  70. Super-glue my butt to a metal bench in the peak heat of July.
  71. Get a blotchy spray tan.
  72. Do everything with my non-dominant hand.
  73. Steal candy from a baby.
  74. Move to North Korea.
  75. Run a 5k.
  76. Turn down potatoes.
  77. Switch my major to Chemistry.
  78. Never shower again.
  79. Get attacked by a swarm of wasps.
  80. Get pink eye once a month.
  81. Always feel like I’m freezing.
  82. Sniff a horse butt.
  83. Shoot myself in the foot.
  84. Also shoot myself in the eye.
  85. Chain smoke a pack of cigarettes.
  86. Fall into an ice cold lake.
  87. Get the runs while at an amusement park.
  88. Sit on a toilet covered in someone else’s pee.
  89. Date someone who sags their pants.
  90. Poke myself in the eyes after touching chili peppers.
  91. Trip and fall in front of a hot celebrity.
  92. Go to class in my underwear.
  93. Bathe in the Potomac River.
  94. Relive a break up over and over again.
  95. Get my car stolen.
  96. Pop other people's zits.
  97. Be touched by someone who has used the bathroom without washing their hands afterwards.
  98. Be stuck in a barn with gassy cows.
  99. Get E. coli.
  100. Get my identity stolen.

*Disclaimer: I am in no way attacking the author of the article about Hillary Clinton, nor am I insinuating that she supports Donald Trump because she does not like Hillary Clinton. Her article and idea were good, and I just want to credit her where credit is due, and express my own opinion at the same time.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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