In everyday speech there is no introspective voice filtering what is appropriate and inappropriate to say. We have trained ourselves, for the most part, to say what we want to say, when we want to say it. Sometimes, this freedom of speech can hurt the people in your vicinity without you having the intention to do such a thing. Language is powerful, but it is also tricky. Intentions and impact are very distinct from one another. You can use your words for a specific intention, and it can affect someone around you in a completely different way than you intended. Here are some words you probably want to be careful using because they can speak to a hidden perception, or an underlying ignorance. We don't want to seem insensitive now, do we?
1. Pussy.
I have heard this word exchanged amongst friends, consistently. It is normally interchangeable with words like cowardly, weak, and fragile. Last time I checked, pussy is used to define two things: a cat, and female woman genital part. Unless you are calling your cowardly colleague a cat (which I am sure you are not), what you're doing is making an analogy between women and weakness. This is no different than telling someone "stop acting like a girl." What does a girl act like? What does this beautiful utopia between my thighs have to do with being fearful? Women, oppressed and all, have had no choice but to keep a tight grip on strength in the presence of adversity. Through sexual objectification, rape culture, misogyny and the double standard we do not crumble. When you find this so-called weakness, please let me know.
2. Emotional
Calling someone emotional is almost never a compliment, which confuses me. Being in tune with your feelings seems out of style and "womanly" contemporary society will rather have you wear a mask, smile through the pain and pretend. We are told to put our pride before our emotional fulfillment. Anyone who has ever called you emotional in between laughter or a face of disgust needs a rude awakening. It takes strength to allow yourself to be weak. Crying is necessary, texting first is okay and being hurt is normal. Have a little integrity and let yourself feel. Let yourself be human.
3. Ratchet.
During my first week of college you would've thought ratchet was my middle name. My friends and I made appearances at every party. We wore what we felt was most comfortable to dance in and danced until our hips knew rhythm on the first named basis. For this, we became the ratchet freshmen. Using our bodies at my own discretion made us ratchet. This is code for sassy, obnoxiously loud, half-naked girls of color with little self-respect because of their tendency to twerk. I will have you know my friends and I are all on the dean's list, part of two or more clubs and making real strides towards diversity on a campus flooded with white faces. Dancing is in our culture. It is an expression. If this is too much confidence for your fragile heart, I am sorry for not being sorry.
4. Articulate.
If I hear another professor tell the students of color in their class that they are surprisingly well-spoken, I am going to lose my mind. Yes, I can speak. Isn't that an essential skill when attending a prestigious liberal arts institution with a 39 percent acceptance rate? Do I not go to school here? Or, did you surmise the only form of communication I know is Ebonics?
5. Cute.
Puppies are cute. Cats and toddlers are cute. Women are beautiful. Men are handsome. Calling a grown human being cute because they are shorter or look younger than their age is like talking down at them. Do not belittle someone because of the characteristics they have no control over. Being short does not make you any less. Young-looking faces age like wine. I promise you will miss out on some great conversation if you call me cute.
6. Exotic or foreign.
I have seen this term used towards international students, or biracial students on campus. What they look like and where they are from does not make them some exotic creature from another planet. They are human beings with a story. Just because their story differs from yours, you do not have the right to stuff them into the "other" box. They are different to what you are accustomed to. If their differences are not easy on the eye, I suggest you get out more.
7. Sketchy.
I heard my best friend's roommate say she doesn't party with the basketball players at my school because their loft is "sketchy." The basketball loft is not in a secluded, dark alleyway in the middle of nowhere. It is around all of the other campus lofts. What her white, economically stable, privileged self meant to say was it is full of blackness, and this blackness makes her feel unsafe.
8. Ghetto.
By "ghetto" you mean black. You are just too afraid to use ghetto and black interchangeably because you do not want to seem racist. A ghetto is a slum in an impoverished part of a city that is occupied by minorities. With this being said, the way I speak cannot be "ghetto." My outfit cannot be "ghetto."
9. Thug.
The word "thug" was traced back to the Hindi word, meaning swindler or cheat. The thugs of India were highway bandits that would rob and kill travelers in public. Now, anything can make you a thug. For instance, living while black, sagging your pants, living while black, protesting or rioting on behalf of the Black Lives Matter movement, using slang, and did I mention living while black? Being black has been criminalized. For this reason, thugs went from being Indian burglars to any black man alive.
10. Slow.
Slow means stupid. If you think I am stupid, call me stupid. Why hide behind a term like "slow." That is cowardly.
Be conscious and be mindful.
