10 Ways To Properly Support Your Friends Who Perform | The Odyssey Online
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10 Ways To Properly Support Your Friends Who Perform

"The good thing about acting is that it always keeps you on your toes... It's not like any other job where you can go in and do the same thing as yesterday." ~Leonardo DiCaprio

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10 Ways To Properly Support Your Friends Who Perform
Lisa DuFault

The Entertainment Industry is one of the most unique industries out there. From Actors, to singers, to dancers, acrobats, drummers, aerialists, mimes, beat boxers and just about anything else you can think of, we can all agree it's very versatile. It's unique. It's much different than any other career out there and also, it is much more cut throat. There are no "equal employment opportunity" laws in this industry. You can get denied a part simply based off of how you look. And that's normal and happens often. It can be hard to be supportive of your friends and family who are involved in an industry like this and often some of the things you say that would be perfectly fine words of support in other careers, they can be a total nightmare to all of us performers out there.

1. Never, EVER say "Good Luck."

This is a BIG no-no in this industry. Saying "Good luck" to us, is actually very, very bad luck. If that is said to us, sometimes we will freak out and then believe we might not do well now that you've said that. The correct term to say to us is "Break a leg." Trust me, we'll love you forever and be extremely impressed that you know our lingo.

2. Never tell us that we won't make it.

Don't tell us we probably won't get the part. Don't tell us we can't play that role. Don't tell us we aren't good enough. In other industries this can be seen as a way to "help" your friend and save them from heartbreak but to us it is the worst thing to hear from someone. If we are working in this business we already KNOW it's tough. We already KNOW we might not get far, we might not get the part, etc. TELLING us this only makes it worse. We are trying to have a positive attitude and get ourselves in the right mindset to go into an audition, telling us stuff we already know, hate and don't want to think about will not help anyone. It will only make things worse.

3. If we are in "The Scottish Play" for the love of God don't say its actual name.

Just don't do it. This is extremely bad luck. I don't even want to talk about it because I believe in the superstition. If you want to read about it you can here.

4. Come to our performances and cheer for us.

This is one of the most supportive things you can do for your friends who perform. Show them just how much you appreciate them by coming out and supporting them. We love knowing our hard work was appreciated. There are different types of etiquette for different types of shows on what is appropriate behavior in the audience, but for any performance, showing up is the best thing you can do.

5. Don't tell us what we are doing isn't hard.

We may not be figuring out quantum theory or studying human anatomy but we are doing a lot of different things. In school if we choose to study it and in the real world as a career. Instead of leaving work and being down with it, we have characters to develop, lines to learn, songs to memorize, dances to learn, all after a full day of rehearsals. We have to completely lose ourselves and become someone else in front of a lot of people. We have to perform large symphonies and get every note right including rhythms, intonation and expression. It's a different kind of career. I maybe not be able do what you do, but a lot of people could never do what I do. Stop calling it easy.

6. Be understanding.

If we can't go out to the bar, if we can't make a student organization meeting or go to an event you planned, know that it's not personal. Performance takes a lot out of us. There are rehearsals almost every night and it doesn't just end when we get home. We have "homework" per say that takes a lot of our time. So please don't get mad when we can't come to something, just smile and say "I understand," when we have to politely decline your offer. Just know that we wish we could go, we just have other things that we have to focus on. Knowing that you understand and don't judge us for it means a lot.

7. Buy us flowers for after the show.

This is the best gift to get a performer. It has been a tradition for years and years, and I love coming home with a huge armful of flowers.

8. During the week leading up to the show ask us if we any need help.

The week before the show AKA "Hell Week" is the most stressful time for us as performers. We have rehearsals every night until very late, dress rehearsals, notes after we run the show that sometimes take forever. Sometimes we are too worn out and exhausted to do any other work than live, eat, sleep and breathe show. Ask us if we need anything. Do our dishes for us. Help out with our laundry. Make our bed. I can tell you we will be FOREVER grateful and probably cry.

9. Don't ask us if we have a "fall back."

This is one of the rudest things to ask anyone I think. It happens a lot with people who are majoring in or pursuing a career in theatre or performance. It's just mean. This is what we love. We can do anything we put our mind to. Just because it is more cut throat than your career doesn't mean we won't get anywhere. There are THOUSANDS maybe even millions of jobs in this field. How would you like it if I asked you if you had a fallback? I bet you wouldn't like it.

10. And lastly, tell us you believe in us.

These are the golden words people. Our lives are extremely stressful with way more "no"s than "yes"s. It can feel like we're drowning. But just to have ONE person say that they believe in us can be the difference between staying in bed and sulking all day to us putting ourselves out there and auditioning for a show and sometimes, we might even get in and that will make all the difference in the world.


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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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