Go out of your way.
Be the first to text, call, invite. Get yourself out there. For most people this can be an uncomfortable thing to do. However, once you have a solid relationship with someone, they will quickly be returning the favors and you’ll feel how easily your relationship flows.
Be around several people at once.
This one is interesting because everyone has a best friend, typically, that they get along with so well. Having several people there allows the conversations to become dynamic, have different thoughts circulating, and keep the happiness by not just having opposing views.
Figure out who fits with your interests.
I have drinking friends, adventure friends, running friends, married vs single friends, friends with kids, etc. It’s fun to get all these people together, but also I love what each different type of person offers me as well. They all can keep me on my toes in different ways.
Pay for their food.
Everyone loves food. It’s so easy to build a community over breaking bread, literally. Going out to a new restaurant, or a fun tap-house is a great relationship developer. Paying for someone’s meal also builds up trust and appreciation for one another. As the person paying, you allow yourself to really let them understand that you value in their friendship, and want to keep them around. As the person receiving a meal paid for, you again know that they are literally investing in you. It’s a super sweet gesture and typically a love language of many.
Allow others to do things for you.
Ok, this kind of goes with #4, but honestly how often do we ask for help? It’s easy to say you’re trying to be a self-sufficient young adult, but sometimes we all just need some help. Ask people to help you move, to help you clean after dinner, or even to feed your hedgehog while you’re out of town (Thanks Sabrina). Most true friends love to come through for you, and it allows you to worry less, in turn, enriching your life!
Schedule your time.
This is a funny one for my own friend group. My core group of gals consists of 8 of us. Five of us are married, and every single person works full time, if not more. 3 of our gals are even teachers and put in so much time for their students. This means we are BUSY. We decided to start scheduling our time. The goal has been one evening, once a month. We literally planned out 8 months’ worth of hang outs (Also known as Bestie Wine Night). You know what; we have seen each other each month! Just as we needed the time too.
Listen.
Always, always, always allow your friends to talk while you just listen. I think it’s easy to want to soak in friend time, talk about your own problems, feel better for yourself and then move on. Really we need to take turns; it’s an active thing to think about. We must take time to hear out our friends in order to better understand their needs (sounds kind of like a relationship? Because it pretty much is.)
Share things.
Share whatever you need to. Clothes, cooking gear, movies, books, etc. We all have interests, we’ve all been blessed in different ways, but sometimes my friends are the best people who share things with me. (Currently re-reading all of Harry Potter thanks to Kasey’s collection). I just love that we can respect each other in this way and then it’s another excuse to get together to give it back to them.
Throw parties.
For everything throw a party. Birthdays, work celebrations, breakups, anything. Throw a party and allow people to bring friends you may not know, or invite people you aren’t as close with. Your friend circle will naturally grow and you get to meet all these cool people. Also, it’s a great way to learn a new recipe someone might bring.
Try new things together.
I probably don’t do this enough. I honestly found my love for Sushi because I had some friends a few years back who would only invite me out to eat sushi. (I have graduated from California rolls, btw). There are always events going on, concerts you may not normally go to, Corn Mazes to run through, and apples to pick. My friend and I are even going to a cooking class at a winery tonight on a random Thursday, honestly just get out there. You build memories better this way.
Friends are extremely valuable because when you have the worst day at work, they can be the first person to stick up for you and bring your spirits back up. They will celebrate all the good and the bad with you. It’s such a different connection to have great friendships versus your own personal relationship with a spouse or significant other. Lately, I have just been so appreciative of my friendships because they are helping me through this weird season of life. Being a newlywed, switching jobs to move up a corporate career, and trying to understand what the heck a FICO score is, I couldn’t do this without my best friends at my side. They truly enrich my life in so many ways, and I’m glad to be blessed by them.
