Someone recently asked me what I look for in a friend, and it shocked me that I didn't couldn't answer right away.
What DO I look for in a friend?
Aside from the stereotypical answers ("Nice," "Considerate," "Friendly," etc.), what makes a certain person so utterly perfect and suited for me?
This is a topic that we rarely ever think about, yet friendship is such a huge part of our lives.
It's a new year -- maybe it's time to consider why we're friends with certain people, and why some of those friendships have lasted longer than others.
Below are some common scenarios to help you figure out what you really look for in a friend.
1. Ideal hangout.
Who do you call when you have a day off? The friend who likes to go out and do things or the friend who is down to come over and watch movies/TV all day?
2. Canceled plans.
Personally, I can't stand flakes. Some people roll with the punches though, and for them, a canceled plan isn't a big deal. Which one are you?
3. Times of conflict.
If you're going through a tough time, who do you tell? The friend who will comfort you, the friend who will solve it like a math problem, or the friend who will let you rant and rave as long as you like?
4. Who initiates?
I've quickly learned that if someone initiates (a hang out, a phone call, whatever), they expect you to initiate too. If you don't reciprocate in the relationship, you'll lose them. Don't expect your friend to always be the one who asks you whether you're free -- one day they'll just stop asking.
Which one are you? The one who asks, or the one who accepts? Are you both?
5. Judgment.
Who do you tell when you've just done something super embarrassing? OR do you not tell anyone at all?
6. Conversation.
Are you the kind of person who prefers a lively conversation when you hang out, or do you prefer a comfortable silence? Does it depend on the person you're with?
Maybe it's about the topic of the conversation. Do you bring up controversial topics that they might disagree with you on? Or do you keep to safe topics?
7. Intimacy
I'm talking emotional intimacy, here. Basically, how much do you tell your friends? Do your friends immediately know everything about you, or does it take you awhile to warm up to someone?
8. Physical touch
Are you the person who loves hugs or just being touched in general? Or rather, are you the person who likes your space? (It's easier to be friends with someone who perceives affection the same way you do!)
It makes sense that, by knowing what we look for in a friend, we'll be able to invest in longer, healthier, and more meaningful friendships. Be on the lookout for what makes your friends your friends!
