I’ve narrowed down the long list of common ways all kinds of dads spice up our daily lives and make us love them the most.
1. They are impossible to shop for.
There is a 90 percent chance dads will dads they want nothing “nothing” for Father’s Day and a 100 percent chance that there will be hell to pay if you take this answer seriously. So be prepared to spend hours finding the perfect T-shirt or kitchen appliance, and keep the receipts because they will most definitely be returned.
2. They are the ultimate Facebook trolls.
Once a dad is introduced to Facebook there is no going back, and suddenly he’s adding your friends, hacking your account, and posting statuses in e-mail dictum. Even though they will claim to be masters of “the line,” you’ll have to coach him a bit on tagging, whose pictures he’s actually commenting on, and that acronyms only work if other people know what they stand for. #TDM
3. They turn sports games into screaming monologues.
The dog hides and the hands have to go over the children’s ears, but at least you never have to ask what the score of the game is, and the whole street appreciates the live commentary.
4. They steal the show.
Dads love a good knee-slapper, and the same jokes that get people rolling on the ground in hilarity when he tells them receive blank stares when you give a repeat performance. They also tell stories in the such compelling ways with voices and hand gestures that it doesn't even matter that you hear them ten times.
5. They make friends everywhere.
This is especially true on vacation when you just want some family time and your dad strikes up conversation with all the other dads in a downward spiral. Disneyland line poses the greatest risk for conversing with strangers, but the restaurant waiter will also likely become your very best friend, starting after his or her introduction with the typical, “Hi I’m [Dad’s name] and I’ll be eating here tonight” joke.
6. They get obsessed with random hobbies.
The bookshelves are stocked with “How To” books for cooking, golfing, motorcycling, skiing, gardening, hiking, playing instruments and many more. Either dads have mid-life crises twice a year or they have a boundless diversity of talents, and what drives us the most crazy is that they are good at every single activity.
7. They refuse to go to go to the doctor.
There is no such thing as being sick, just “allergies,” and the only way to get your dad to the hospital is by knocking him unconscious or using trickery. Don’t even mention a dentist or doctor appointment unless you want to hear constant complaints leading up to the big day, but even more frustrating is that the maladies that would have ended the rest of us long ago magically disappear in our dads.
8. They are secretly sensitive.
They want to come off like the tough guys, but in reality have hearts of gold and are the first ones to shed a tear at graduations and weddings. No, it’s not man-opause, they are genuinely caring and don’t realize people love a sensitive man.
9. They have hints and tips for every occasion.
According to dads there is always a better way to get work done, and it is never the way that you are doing it. In my family we call these “hints and tips" and there are special editions for backseat driving, doing the dishes, and cooking.
10. They are always right.
No matter how nuts your dad makes you, what drives you even crazier is that all of his advice is right in the end. Take this time to thank your father for all of his advice, support, and laughs and show how much you appreciate him.
