Relationships are hard enough to maintain — but throw in high school stress, first love experiences and puberty into the mix, and you've got a recipe for drama. So here's what you need to consider before you commit to a relationship.
1. Never fall harder than who you're seeing.
Attachment is sticky, and it's easy to get invested with someone who is not on the same page as you. The only thing you can do is be aware of where you are mentally, emotionally and physically with a person. If you see yourself falling faster, you may have to take a couple steps back to assure you don't get hurt by something short-term or something you could've prevented. I've often heard that you can't control how you feel about a person, and while I believe that, I also believe there are ways to keep yourself in check.
2. Never think you are the exception.
I've learned this from my favorite movie "He's Just Not That Into You." Just because your brother's, best friend's cousin's, uncle's, aunt's husband, etc. showed no interest in her and then ended up falling in love with her does not mean the same is going to happen to you. It doesn't mean it's going to happen for your friend either, so we have to stop living in the thought process that it could, and stop telling each other these things. Truth is, if someone isn't showing interest in you, then it is because they aren't into you, and we have to stop thinking we are the exception to that. It hurts, but just know some day someone will be into you, and things will work out.
3. If someone cheats, leave them.
Once a cheater, always a cheater. If someone has the audacity to disrespect you and cheat on you knowing it will hurt you, they are not worth your time. If you take them back, just know that even if they do not cheat on you again, they will screw you over because they do not care if they hurt you. Just remember, cheaters never win in any case, and in this case, they are losing you, and you've got to know they are really missing out.
4. Never change yourself.
I know, it's hard. You're on your first date with someone you really like, and he asks you what your favorite music is and, oh no... you don't want to embarrass yourself and tell him that all you listen to is old Justin Bieber and One Direction, so you just blurt out, "Um... country." Yeah, it'll make them more interested in you if they're into country, as well, but that answer will come back to haunt you. Take it from the girl who learned the hard way. The next month of my life I spent listening to Tim McGraw, Blake Shelton and Zac Brown Band. There is nothing I hate more than country music, and now when I look back on the relationship, all I can think about is the hours we'd spend listening to country music everywhere we drove. I will never be able to get those hours back.
5. Always make time for your friends.
The honeymoon phase is beautiful. You are completely engulfed in the person. Your parents are telling you it is merely infatuation, but you know it's love. In the midst of falling for this person, you have to remember that they may be amazing, but they are not everything. Make time for your friends because they are the people that will be here whenever that person isn't anymore. Isolating yourself from everyone else only hurts you long-term.
6. Make it clear where you stand.
If you are not serious when you say where you stand, they will not take you seriously. To assure you do not get taken advantage of, do not falter. You are in control, and you have full authority to make the decisions that you are comfortable with. If they do respect your boundaries, they are undeserving of you. Your boundaries are not something to be taken lightly.
7. Getting back together is 9/10 not a good idea.
Remember, there is a reason the two of you broke up in the first place, and if didn't work out the first time, then why would it work this time, or the fifth time or the 67th time? If it is over, let it be! Old relationships are better left in the past. You've got a wide variety of people to choose from. Do not limit yourself to someone just because you're not able to let go of it. You're only playing yourself, and you can find someone else.
8. If your pet/younger sibling doesn't like them, it's for a good reason.
Don't ask me how, but babies and pets have this strange sixth sense, and you may not see it, but they can sense when there is something off with your partner. It may not make sense now, but when you are looking back on your relationships and wondering how you missed it, just know that this is why your cat bit him or why your baby brother wouldn't let her hold him. They were just looking out for you.
9. Don't try to take all the same classes.
Sure, right now it seems like a brilliant idea. Y'all will have so much more time together. Let's just say by some miracle y'all do last awhile. What are you gonna do when they are irritating you? You can't just pout and walk to your next class because they will be walking right next to you, and then sitting next to you. All that time might be too much time, and it may be awful to admit, but there is a good chance you're going to get tired of them. What are you going to do then? Because unless you plan on sitting in the bathroom the whole period, your options are pretty limited.
10. Don't expect the world.
Unless they have rich parents, chances are they're gonna be working a minimum wage job, and they aren't gonna be able to buy you everything. Your birthday presents aren't gonna be super luxurious, and you may not be decked out in chocolates for Valentine's Day. Just remember, it's the thought that counts.
