It's no secret that for many boys the hardest part of college is not the actual schooling, but pledging a fraternity. For a girl welcomed into her sorority with open arms, it was hard to wrap my head around just how tightly strung the male pledges are. I noticed how it rapidly affected relationships by increasing stress and decreasing time spent with their significant other. After asking multiple people for their thoughts, I wrote a list of tips for girls who are dating boys during their pledge-ship, because I hate seeing you guys suffer. Take notes.
1. Don't worry...too much
He is going to go missing for hours at a time. Try not to stress yourself out with worry. Chances are he is not dead but probably wishing he was. He'll show up eventually.
2. Do what you can to make his life easier
Laundry. Food. Homework. Errands. Anything!!! Help him out. He's busy enough being the personal assistant of 150 fraternity brothers. You think he has time to wash his own clothes? No. So don't be shocked when you see him in the same wrinkled shirt that he has been wearing for the past week.
3. Understand that he is now living a double life
Your boyfriend is now living your teenage fantasy of being Hannah Montana. Don't get mad when he can't tell you everything that he has been doing. What happens at the house, stays at the house. I know this can be frustrating but it's only for 8 weeks so just grin and bear it and be glad you're not the one that is suffering.
4. Don't question his sexuality
You might find yourself concerned with your boyfriend's unhealthy new obsession with his pledge brothers. He's not gay, he's just going through a very weird 8-week phase.5. Pick him up
Don't be alarmed when you answer your phone at 4 AM to a very distressed, drunk boyfriend. Drive to the random location you didn't even know existed and pick him up. Do not ask why he was there, because truthfully, you probably don't even want to know. Odds are, it's been a long day for him and he just wants to go home.
6. Let him sleep
I know it can be frustrating when he spends the only time you two have together asleep but the poor kid is exhausted. From late nights to early mornings, and the hard work that comes along with it, pledges are basically the walking dead. Plus, who doesn't love nap dates?
7. Talk him up
Make conversation with the older brothers while you're out. Slip in some compliments about your boyfriend. Make him look good. Spend the whole conversation talking about how their pledge is a mix between Zac Efron and Jesus. Maybe, just maybe, he will gain some of their respect, and in turn, some slack. Now he will only spend five minutes crying before bed rather than the normal ten.
8. Let him be right for once
Now, ladies, I know we are always right. However, try and swallow your pride once or twice and just let him think he's right. At his fraternity house, even when he's right, he's wrong. This can be damaging to his self-confidence, and we can't have that, now can we?
9. Accept the fact that you're relationship is no longer just the two of you
I have never seen a weirder bond than the bond between brothers in a fraternity. Get ready to have about 50 boyfriends because there is no way he is all yours anymore. His new found "brothers" just can't get enough of him, so guess what? Your dinner reservation for two just became a party of three.10. Keep his secrets
I can not stress this enough. If your boyfriend trusts you enough to tell you even a sliver of what is going on in that fraternity jail house, do not break his trust! The amount of trouble he could get in for even telling you the smallest secret is ridiculous. Let him feel comfortable in confiding in you because boys need to vent too sometimes.
