I've been a waitress for two years now. I've dealt with pretty much every type of customer a person can encounter, and I have handled a plethora of difficult situations. Over my time as a waitress, I have come to realize a few things that I hadn't known before. Here's 10 truths you should know about the people who serve your food, and how you should treat them.
1. I don't make the food.
I have no idea how it's cooked, or what's in it, and quite frankly, I really don't care. Please don't ask me how many tablespoons of butter is in your chowder.
2. Do not be mean to your waitress
1. My entire staff will work to make your life difficult, 2. We will openly make fun of how terrible of a person you are, 3. I will do everything in my power to charge you for stupid things... You order a kids soda, I'll charge you for an adult's, and I will laugh when you give me that extra 25 cents.
3. If you try to split a bill more than two ways there is a 400% I HATE you.
4. I really have no idea when you want the check.
If I ask you if you need anything, and you say "No, we are all good", I will not know that means you need the check. You need to verbalize that you want the freaking check.
5. If you are dismissive to your waitress we will come to your table half as much as tables who are talkative.
6. I do not make your food.
I put the food order in a computer, and forget about it. I have twenty tables at once. Do you REALLY think I remember that you even ordered a pizza? Do you REALLY think I have any control over how long it takes your pizza to cook? Do you REALLY think if you yell at me I'm going to make it come out any faster? Logic, people, logic.
7. If your waitress hasn't come to your table to check on you in while it's probably because we are freaking busy and have 100 orders at once.
Instead of sitting and getting angry, if you are really in a hurry, get off your butt and find someone to remind me that you need something.
8. NEVER tip under 15 percent unless you saw your server sitting on their butt, doing nothing.
I have 100 things to do at once, and 100 people who all think their needs are urgent. And 90% of the things you are pissed about are not my fault. Your food took to long: my cooks had other orders. Your food is wrong: my cook made it wrong. You didn't get seated for 20 minutes: my hostess was busy. None of that was in my control, but yet I'm the one getting a bad tip.
9. If you ask me how a cocktail is made there is a 1 out of 300 chance I will know the answer. I'm not a bartender. Read the description and make a damn decision.
10. If I ask you if you are ready to order, and you say yes, you better know damn well what you want.
You better have that rehearsed, memorized, and in alphabetical order. I ABSOLUTELY do not have time to stand there while you try to decide between a burger and a quesadilla.
There is probably a million other annoying things you do, and a million other tips (pun embarrassedly intended) I could give you, but I'm a waitress, and I don't get paid nearly enough to care so there's ten helpful hints, use them if you don't want to get charged an extra 50 cents for your side of lime, and have the whole staff hate you.
