Disclaimer: I understand that all mixed-race people might not feel this way, but I’m that girl who feels some type of way about everything. I love being mixed and having the opportunity to experience different cultures, but people have been asking me dumba** questions for as long as I can remember.
1.What are you?
This question gets under my skin so much. I am not a “what”, I am a human being. Instead of asking "what are you?”, just ask “what is your ethnicity?” or “what ethnicity are you?” It’s not disrespectful to ask something like that.
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2. "Where are you from? No, where are you really from?"
I can’t roll my eyes hard enough about this question. I am from New York City, where my mother and father are from. Asking “where you really from?” is just a subtle way of saying that those that are mixed or ethnic looking, look too different. But I can make a situation uncomfortable real quick so usually, my response is “My mom’s parents were immigrants and my dad’s side can trace their ancestry to a plantation in Virginia. You see, when slaves were stolen from West Africa, so was their culture and they had no papers, so most Black Americans have no idea what country in Africa our ancestors came from.” That usually ends the conversation quickly and their faces usually look like this:
3. Making a game out of guessing my ethnicity.
There’s a one hundred percent chance you’re going to get it wrong, so stop.
4. Is that your natural hair? Can I touch it?
I will slap your hand away if it goes anywhere near my hair. I don’t know you and I don’t know where your hands have been.
5. Thinking that mixed raced babies are going to end racism.
In an ideal world, this would happen. Unfortunately, that’s not the case. Having a mixed raced kid isn’t going to fix your racist family member. In fact, just because you have a mixed raced child, that doesn’t mean you won’t hold any racist prejudices either. Don’t believe me? Just read this article: https://lisaalamode.com/2016/12/09/racist-white-mom-biracial-daughter/.
6.“You’re so exotic!”
To me, food, places, and animals are exotic, not people. I used to get called "exotic" a lot when I was younger, and it always made me feel uncomfortable but I never understood why. As I got older, I started to realize that it meant “different”, and that I was too brown to look “American”. There is nothing exotic about my New York accent and there is nothing exotic about the fact that I speak three other languages besides English (shameless brag). If you’re trying to use “exotic” to say that I’m good looking, then just say that I’m cute.
7. Thinking that I won’t get offended if you say racist or micro-aggressive things.
This happens to me a lot. People assume that since you’re mixed, subtle or flat out racist comments won’t bother you. Well, WRONG! I’m going to get bothered and call you out on it. Just because I’m “only” half-black and light skinned, does not give you the okay to say something out of line. If you wouldn’t say it to someone who’s darker than me, don’t say it to me.
8. “Mutt”
We all know what a mutt is -- a non-purebred dog. Unfortunately, people use that to term to describe mixed-race people. Don’t do it. It’s just as disrespectful as mullato.
9. “I need to get with a [insert ethnicity here] to have: light skin, light eyes, a baby with good hair.”
It might not sound offensive to you, but it is. I had someone (who was a medium/dark-skinned Dominican woman) ask me how dark my dad was and when I told her that he was dark skinned, she then responded with, “I need to get with a black man so that my kids might come out with skin like yours.” And what the hell is “good hair” anyway? If you think kinky hair and dark skin is unattractive then you can get out of my face.
10. “You don’t act [insert race here].
There’s something wrong with you if you think there is a certain way different races act. Stop relying on stereotypes.
