So if you write for school, recreation, or even work, you will come face to face with the beast known as writer's block. Writer's block resembles a small dragon that perches on your shoulder and tells you how to procrastinate until your brain explodes from sheer lack of productivity. There is no cure to writer's block so I am just here to help you procrastinate in a productive way this summer.
1. Wash dishes
Then go find more dishes and wash those too. And then clean the whole kitchen while your family rants about how you literally did all of this yesterday and the dishes in the cupboard don't need to be washed.
2. Catch up on every show you wanted to watch at school
Then watch five shows you have never heard of and then discover that those shows weren't actually that great but watch every episode anyway because you have already committed a whole hour to them so you may as well!
3. Make dinner
For your whole family, three guests, and the US Army. Make some toast too, not that the toast goes with dinner, you just got hungry half way through and needed a snack.
4. Go to the zoo
Not the zoo nearest to your house though; convince your family that since your dad has a work thing in Columbus everyone else should go to the zoo because you want to see the bobcats. Get to the zoo realize the bobcat exhibit is closed, have a short existential crisis, discover the baby polar bear and feel better.
5. Dye your hair
Try to turn it purple, turn it black somehow, get really confused about hair dye and try to figure out what the hell happened. Give up accept your new hair and go to bed.
6. Bake a cake
Or an elaborate layer cake, then fuck up the icing, eat it anyway because you spent six hours making in and you deserve your cake damn it.
7. Play with your dogs
Then play with someone else's dogs, then start a dog walking business, lose ten pounds walking dogs, give up on the dog walking business because it's 100 degrees outside in the shade, make another cake, and gain back the aforementioned 10 pounds.
8. Decide to get a tattoo with your sister
Spend your every waking moment trying to decide what to get, never agree, find one you both like after six months of research, discover your tattoo artist doesn't do that kind of tattoo, start over.
9. Go to the shooting range
Convince your significant other to pay because of the aforementioned failed business, shoot at paper targets for a few hours, discover that you have wasted 200 hundred dollars worth of ammo shooting at paper, have a mental breakdown, and go get ice cream.
10. Take up smoking
Or any other habit that allows you to stop doing what you are doing for 15-20 minutes so you can still pretend that story you are writing is getting written while killing time because you just can not get your shit together today.
