It seems like nowadays people are settling at a young age. Maybe it's because all this technology is making it easier to get to know the other person without having to ask too many questions (why ask when you can Facebook stalk?), or maybe it's because "the fast lane is life" or it could be that it's easier to catch Pokémon when you have a team (which is the most probable), but whatever the reason, I am pretty sure some life-changing experience is being missed because of the rush to say "I do." So, without further ado, here are ten things I believe we should consider trying before settling down.
1. Re-Read Books/Re-Watch Movies That Once Made An Impact On Your Life.
No matter how we see it, things take a drastic change as we get older. I know for one the children's movies I used to watch when I was younger make a lot more sense. I am even able to grasp on the deeper meaning of the story line. Anyway, going back and re-living those moments that meant so much once will help you feel good about moving forward. Let yourself reminisce on those days that have gone with the wind, but will never be forgotten.
Finishing college and starting off on your career are a lot less stressful when, on top of everything else, you're not a wife/husband or mother/father. Obviously some of you will be able to mange to be all of these at once, and I applaud you for it.
3. Go On A Hike…Alone.
I understand that not a lot of you would be too eager about this one, but I have never known hikes as non-rewarding. Take in the freshness of the air and acknowledge the beauty we sometimes forget we're surrounded by. Of course, I feel the need to remind you to be safe and to plan ahead of time. Let someone trustworthy know and be sure about weather conditions and the like. I don't think anyone would have too much fun being caught in a rainstorm.
4. Live On Your Own.
Obviously this would come after you have settled down in your (hopefully) dream job. Living on your own will help you see those things you weren't yet fully aware you hated or liked. Maybe you need to get better at cleaning your mess, or maybe you can't live without a coat rack but it's likely you won't find out when you have to take care of a family and not just yourself.
5. Pick A Place And Go.
I don't remember my parents vacationing much before they had us and even thereafter. Money and timing always seemed to be a problem. Having a family, like my mother always says, changes everything. Accepting the challenge to visit somewhere you've always dreamed of going will only add positive drive and motivation. Going alone and/or with some friends would be a whole lot different than going with a spouse or with a family. I believe they would both be incredibly fun, but two completely different experiences. Doing it while you're still single would put a whole different weight on the trip. On the plus side, you could always revisit said location once married.
Your real friends, the ones who have stayed true through thick and thin should never be left behind, especially when starting a new chapter in life. They'll be at your wedding and hopefully they'll include your spouse to your "clique," but things change after someone is wedded; that's the way it always is and the way it should be. You don't only have your own expectations to meet but you also need to be considerate of your spouse's. So, while you all are still able to get together without preoccupations, go on a road trip and create memories for a lifetime.
7. Go On Individual Dates With Family Members
We always see families as a collective bunch. It always seems to be the Hawkins, the Johnsons, or the Gonzales; it's never individualized. Being able to interact with a lone family member may open a window of opportunity to get to know that person on a whole other level. Once married and raising a family of your own, the interactions with family changes, which makes complete sense; there's a whole other person's life to care for. I know from experience that the communication level changes when a sibling is married, as it rightfully should, but before that becomes you, give a little extra attention to each person in your family.
8. Have Deep Conversations
They say most courageous confessions come out during late night conversations. Scary, but in a good way. I personally have always had a thing against vulnerability, but I've learned over time that being vulnerable can also lead you to feeling free. Obviously, choose wisely with whom you share your innermost thoughts. Creating this bond with someone now can lead to lasting friendships and a secure group of guys or gals willing to be your bridesmaids or groomsmen.
9. Make A Healthy Living Schedule And Abide By It
It's never too late (or too early) to start living right. To keep yourself healthy is you doing yourself a favor and the ability to continue pursing the items in your bucket list without having your physical problems be a hurdle to jump over. Besides, the discipline you harvest from sticking to said schedule will also benefit you in other areas of life such as work, school and your spiritual life!
10. Forgive Those Who Have Wronged You
Last, but definitely not least, is forgiveness. Being married brings its own conflicts. Bringing in baggage from the past would only increase the chances of insecurities within the relationship. I realize that some of the chaos in your life might not be as easy to let go of, but with the help of God, we will be able to reach that peace that surpasses all understanding.
I hope you try at least one of these before you settle. There's nothing like starting a life as a married person, looking back at your single years and smiling. Or at least I hope that's how it'll be for me.
