The other day, while walking across Case Green, I happened upon a clunky black Doc Marten shoe hanging by the shoelaces from the branch of a tree.

“Honestly what the f*ck is this school?” I mumbled to myself under my breath.

In honor of college decisions season, I have decided to compose a little ode to my wonderful, weird school: Skidmore. While it took a little bit for my love of this school to grow, I have grown to adore its quirky ways. Skidmore really is a special community. From our jean-jacket-and-Doc-Marten-clad students to our beautiful landscape dominated by nicotine-addicted squirrels, I am reminded every day just how utterly bizarre this school is. Here is a list of everyday phenomena that make our school...Skidmore.

1. The sunsets

I don’t even know how it happens, but the sunsets in this little corner of upstate New York are absolutely unbelievable. Every single evening, the sky explodes in vibrant colors, shining through the clouds in the most unbelievable ways. Maybe it’s because we’re downwind from one of the most polluted regions of the United States, or maybe some art student has secretly installed a dome over Saratoga Springs that projects beautiful colors every night as a social experiment, but these sunsets are absolutely unreal. If you asked any Skidmore student what their favorite thing about Saratoga is, I can guarantee they’ll choose the sunsets.

2. The fact that every person dresses exactly the same

The fact that everyone at this school totally follows the same fashion blogs on ~super quirky Tumblr~ is undeniable. Sometimes on my way to class, I play a game where I count the number of jean jacket, Docs, Starbucks latte and Fjallraven/Herschel backpack combinations. I think all of us are trying really hard to be fashion mavericks and break the East Coast prepster stereotype…..but we’re all doing it in the exact same way. We’re not all bad though! The other day I saw a girl wearing a Juicy Couture tracksuit...so maybe some of us are mavericks.

3. The gigantic, nicotine-addicted squirrels

Once upon a time, in the days of unfiltered, self-rolled cigarettes, Skidmore might have had normal sized, nicotine-addicted squirrels. However, since cigarettes became hyper-infused with thousands of other horrendous chemicals (and since cigarettes became cool again among the artsy types for whatever reason), the Skidmore squirrels have exploded in size and aggressiveness. These squirrels can be seen near the massive tree outside Palamountain, or on the patio outside Burgess Cafe, waiting patiently (or not so patiently) for students to finish their cigarettes so they can devour them and further expedite their own unnatural growth. One time I saw a squirrel scampering across Case Green carrying an ENTIRE TUB OF SABRA HUMMUS. If that’s not scary then I don’t know what is.

4. The terrible WiFi

There’s nothing endearing about this aspect of Skidmore. We pay a truly monumental amount of money to go here and we can’t even get stable WiFi. But honestly, what would we complain about if there were good WiFi?

5. Adding “skid” or “more” to literally everything

Beatlemore. Exploremore. Bikemore. SkidEats. Skidaiko. Skidomedy. Skizards. SkidMarket. Need I say “more”?

6. The fact that performance groups are essentially our Greek life

Every semester, it happens. Hundreds of singers, dancers, actors and comedians, all of whom are incredibly talented, flock to the music and arts buildings and line the hallways for hours, waiting to make their voices/foot movements/jokes heard. In the end, a very lucky few are chosen to become part of one of the five fabled select acapella groups, the four select comedy groups, or any one of the select dance groups. Honestly, as a member of one of these mystical entities of performance art, I find it really strange how much attention is put on select performance groups. For God’s sake, the Bandersnatchers (the only all-male acappella group on campus) have their own HOUSE. And they have huge parties. Liberal arts schools, am I right??

7. Horse people.

Probably one of the weirdest things about Skidmore is our overabundance of horse-lovers. The town of Saratoga Springs has forever revolved around the summer horse races, and Skidmore is no different. We have a D1 Polo team which regularly defeats Yale, and a huge stable where a large portion of our student population keeps one or more of their OWN HORSES. It’s very common to see a pair of riding pants among the sea of black skinny jeans when walking on the Case Walkway. Also, this is the only liberal arts school I can think of where the smell of horse poop sometimes overpowers the smell of burning marijuana.

8. South Quad (and the horrors it contains)

This school puts a ton of money into the academic buildings, the arts buildings and their facilities, but they forgot one thing...the freshman dorms. Honestly, living in South Quad for the first half of this year was a very sad experience. From the extremely dark and dingy lighting, terrible internet and inadequate amount of washing machines to the rowdy students, the smell of vomit and those frequent enormous holes that miraculously appear in the walls, South Quad dorms sure are...something. But to be completely honest, from what I’ve heard, the other dorms seem pretty blah unless you’ve spent a year in one of the hellholes we call McClellan, Wilmarth, Penfield or Kimball. I’m sure that one day, when we’re all cozied up in our wonderful, spacious Northwoods apartments with our best friends, we’ll look back on the South Quad days with fondness...right???????

9. The really bizarre landscaping

This school is, like, really weird. Not only are the people weird, but so are the choices in landscaping. The Tang museum looks like something out of Meet the Robinsons, and the paper bag sculpture in front of it does not do anything to fix the situation. There also resides, in a grove of trees somewhat near the pond, a massive sculpture of a metal animal that resembles some combination of a shrimp and a praying mantis. It’s like some art student was commissioned to make a sculpture of a horse for the school and really f*cked it up, and when the school asked what in the world had happened, the art student yelled “CREATIVE THOUGHT MATTERS” and wouldn’t stop until they agreed to install this shrimp/preying mantis. Also, the entire existence of JoTo is an entire architecture no-no.

10. Warm days on Case “Green”

I’ve already outlined a bunch of really strange things about Skidmore. But you haven’t seen strange until you’ve seen Case Green on a beautiful day. After hiding inside for days on end while it rains and snows and hails outside, Skidmore students don their most eccentric clothing and make their way outside to soak up some of that rare Upstate New York sunshine. Many students also bring fair amounts of other kinds of *ahem* “greenery”, and the entire place turns into a cesspool of every single Skidmore/liberal arts school stereotype imaginable. The squirrels run around maniacally, terrorizing the cigarette butts that lie on the grass, while hammocks swing between trees and people play ~original music~ on their ukuleles and/or mandolins while drinking coffee out of Mason jars. If there’s anything off of this list that epitomizes Skidmore the most, it’s a warm day on the green.